The Problem With Love [+18]

8 : Guilt

The morning after that I purposely waited in my room until Col left. After he was gone I crepted downstairs to eat the leftovers, Sydney asked me why I hadn't gotten up earlier. I lied, telling her I slept in by accident. I don't think she fully believed me.
All the shock from the night before had vanished into thin air when Sydney was cut off by phone rigging. Julian. He invited me out again. This time just the two of us, said we could go by the lake. I agreed without much of second thought.
"You seem excited all of sudden, was that the boy?" She asked with a knowing look. Hearing the phrase 'the boy' reminded me of Col's episode the night before for I thought that everything would be fine. That I could go and hang out with Julian to go cut things off with him. Say we were just friends. Col wouldn't have to know about it and if he found out I could tell him the truth. That Julian and I were just friends.
"Yeah" I said shyly trying to control my grin.
"He's coming to pick me up in a half hour" I added.
"Well isn't that nice" She said as she cleaned up the messy table, Col must have left in a rush that morning. I moved from the phone to help her clean up before asking her if I could borrow something from her closet.
"Sure, how long do you think you'll be out for?"
"I'm not sure, but if I need a ride I'll call you"
"Well I have to go to work at 5, so call before then" She said before dumping the plates into the sink and moving to the bathroom. Once I heard the water turn on I went down the hall to her and Col's room.
The room was messy. With red walls and dark sheets that were coming off the corners of the mattress. The room had a strange musky smell to it that mixed with the jasmine perfume Sydney always wore. It felt like a different world.
I stepped carefully over to the closet, opening it up to reveal two mixed styles. The closet was split down the middle. One side Col's, the other Sydney's. I shifted my gaze over to her clothes and began to dig around for a bathing suit. She had a few but none of them fit me right. I decided that I just wouldn't get in the water. I ended up taking a plain white shirt, that was suppose to be cropped and tight, but was looser on me than it would have been on Sydney. I wore a pair of my own flared jeans with it.
Sydney was still in the shower when Julian arrived. He knocked loud enough for me to hear it from their bedroom. I grinned up at him as I closed the door behind myself. We both began to walk to the lake, which was a bit far from Sydney's house.
"Who was on the phone?" Julian asked at some point.
"Oh that was just Col, he's Sydney's boyfriend" I said feeling uncomfortable about talking about Col and calling him Sydney's. The familiar feeling of jealous sat deep in my gut. But I didn't have the right to be jealous. I mean there I was walking side by side with another guy. One I told Col just last night that I would never see again.
"Why you blushing" Julian said as he bumped his side into me. I looked down at the ground trying to stop my cheeks from lighting up.
"Is anyone else coming down to the lake"
"Ah, no. Thought it would be just us" He seemed taken aback by how I changed the subject but I ignored it.
"Then thought we could go to Baker's" He added.
Silence filled the air as we made our way to the lake. I was deep in thought, but Julian putting his arm around me and pulling me close as we walked broke me out. I gulped in shock before moving out of the way so his arm dropped. He looked confused and I just smiled meekly before looking back down at the ground.
I didn't want to tell he I just wanted to be friends and then have him leave me in the middle of the street alone. But I also felt too guilty to have him touching me.