In this short story collection characters are faced with the realization of how the real world we live in really is. How the most beautiful things, are able to shred us to pieces.
A girl who is protected by her past.
Another who isn't as important...
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The doorbell rings and I dash to open the door. Carrie engulfs me in a hug as soon as our eyes meet. I haven't seen her for months, since we don't live so close anymore.
We used to be roommates all throughout university and when we finished she went to LA, while I stayed in New York.
Sometimes we spend weeks without talking because of our busy schedules, but from time to time we meet to catch up.
"I missed you!" Carrie smiles while examining my face. My smile mirrors hers and I let her come in.
She is carrying a small luggage since I asked her to stay a couple of days with me. We sit on my couch in the living room.
She looks around the house, her smile never leaving her face. "This house just screams you."
She is right. I have colorful paintings on the walls, decorative objects such as flowers and photographs. I surround myself with lively things to make me feel warm and comfortable.
"Now," Carrie sits closer to me, ready to be informed of everything. "What has happened lately?"
I stay quiet, preparing myself for what I'm going to tell her. I take a deep breath and speak. "I broke up with Mike four days ago."
"Wait, what?!"
"I didn't tell you since you were coming here anyway and we could talk in person." I put my head down. "I'm sorry if you are mad."
"No, no. I'm not mad, but... you broke up with him?" Her face is nothing but pure confusion. She unconsciously rubs by back. I lean into her touch.
"Umm...yea." I chuckle nervously.
"But why? You were such a good couple. You have been together for three years. Weren't you planning on moving in together soon?"
"We were." I don't speak further. I know if I start it will be hard to stop.
"Leigh, what happened? Did he do something?" I look into Carries brown eyes. I've known these eyes for so long.
"It isn't like it's one thing. It's everything that has happened for the past three years combined. It's just that recently I realized it." She frowns in confusion and waits for me to continue.
"Turns out we weren't the perfect couple after all." I shrug, memories flooding my head.
"But it was just like in the romance books. A university bad boy falls for the good girl that changes him." She says the last sentence with a dramatic tone. "I have seen you together so many times. He was so sweet towards you."
"Yes, only me." I'm starting to crack, but I trust Carrie. "He didn't care about others, only me. Actually, he didn't really care about me."
"I don't understand." She shakes her head.
"When someone changes they should for good and not for someone else, but for themselves. But that isn't the only reason why I broke up with him." I fill my lungs with air and start.
"Like you said, it was like romance novels. Sometimes those books lie Carrie." I let out a sad laugh.
"He wanted to know where I was, whom I was with, what I was wearing and when I would get back. At first I thought it was cute since he cared about me, but no. Then he didn't want to let me go out and only stay with him. All those times I cancelled plans, it was to stay with him. I thought it was because he wanted to be with me all the time because he missed me."
"He cheated on me four months after we got together. I got mad at him and we didn't talk for days. He came to our room, remember. You left to give us some privacy and he told me that he loved me and he was drunk and wasn't thinking straight. I forgave him, that was one of my many mistakes." Carrie's face shows recognition of the events, but now at a new perspective. I also wish I'd seen it that way the first time.
"He would go out with his girl friends all the time. That wouldn't be a problem, if he didn't allow me to hang out with my guy friends. I thought he was so protective of me and I felt special." My friend comes closer and I lean in. I'm looking ahead, but not at anything in particular.
It's like I can see everything happen in front of my eyes all over again.
"Then there were the small innocent comments. They seemed so unimportant, but as I've learned, words can cut deeper than anything. Physical wounds heal one way or another, but emotional ones are here to stay."
"What would he say?" Carrie whispers, as if too scared to ask.
"Should you be wearing that?"
"You don't have to finish all your meals."
"You can't choose good friends. Then, he would cover it up saying that he cares about me." One of Carrie's hands turns into a fist, while the other is rubbing my shoulder.
"When I did something he didn't like he would say how I didn't care about him and how I was the only thing keeping him together. I didn't want him to get hurt so I stayed."
"So if you stayed, what made you change?" She questions.
"We were fighting four days ago. He didn't want you to come. I snapped and told him how controlling he was and..." My breath hitches in my throat.
"And?"
"He slapped me." Her eyes widen as she pulls back and examines my face. That is when she notices the faint bruise, I've tried to cover with foundation.
"Immediately he said he was sorry, but that was the last straw. If he loved me so much he wouldn't even think to hit me. I told him to get out and that I wanted to never see him again." I glance at the door to which he walked out of.
"I blocked him on every social media and on my phone. I told the security downstairs to not let him in to meet me and I ignore him when he tries to come near me."
"I have never noticed how bad everything was..." Carrie's eyes get filled with tears. Mine are starting to water too.
"Me too, that is why I let it happen. And do you know what is funnier? I didn't notice these things because I thought of them as love and care. Because we are being told that is right and ideal." I bite my lip and blink repeatedly, trying to contain the tears.
"Books, movies, the media. They talk about these characters that have been through so much and need someone to heal them. They justify what is wrong because of their past." I'm brought in a hug and I wrap my arms around her too. Tears wetten our cheeks.
"I'm proud of you Leigh. I'm sorry I didn't see this." She hugs me tighter.
"I forgive you. Things like these sometimes aren't apparent." We stay like this for a little while, until I let go. "Now I laugh at myself, you know."
I look back at naive me. How did I let it go so far?
This is also different from what I usually write, but in another way. I like to have more things happen in my story and this is just a conversation, but damn did I have a blast!
I'm saying this now before anyone asks. No, I've never been in a relationship, let alone a toxic one.
Here on Wattpad there are COUNTLESS bad boy stories and even though we have started to see the problem, there are still people who idolize these kinds of relationships.
Don't try to justify their actions with stupid excuses. That is the point where you should see the problem.
If you are in a toxic relationship, please please tell someone who ACTUALLY cares and loves you. I know that they will help you.
