supersonic | liam gallagher / damon albarn

twenty one

"I can't believe you're making me do this."

I was sat in the back of the taxi with Ryan on the way to a rather posh hotel in Manchester for a charity event that evening. Reluctantly, and after a bribe from Ryan where I'd be exempt from doing the dishes for a whole month, I agreed to come.

It was an event hosted by both Manchester United and Manchester City, raising money for various issues around the city, including the support behind grassroots football, which Ryan was very passionate about.

I'd wanted to stay out of the public eye for as long as I could, ideally forever. And I'd managed to do exactly that for around three months since Damon and I had split. I'd kept my head down at work, got on with my job and gone home every night to do pretty much nothing.

I had been looking at other jobs, and Ryan had managed to blag me an interview at Manchester United for a role in their marketing department which I was waiting to hear back about. I wanted something a little more dynamic than my current admin job, and I felt like I needed to start focusing on myself more.

Tony and I had been in touch a lot since I saw him at the tram stop that night. Even though he'd left Oasis, I knew he'd told the rest of the band about his divorce, but those boys were never ones for talking about serious things like a separation, so I made sure I was there for him when he needed a chat, the two of us occasionally meeting at the pub or a café on my lunch break.

"Come on you, all smiles now yeah?" Ryan said as we pulled up to the hotel, clearly noticing my miserable looking face.

I shot him a sarcastic smile and took his hand as he helped me out the car, holding my black floor length dress up with my free hand so I didn't end up standing on it.

I noticed other players lining the red carpet with their plus ones, smiling for the cameras for a few seconds before heading inside. I often wondered why Ryan had never brought home a girlfriend or even been on dates, that I knew about anyway. He said it was because he didn't have time, that he needed to focus on his football, but I knew that wasn't the truth. Deep down, I think he was worried about me, and didn't want anyone else to take up his time in case I needed him, which always left a cloud of guilt hanging over my head.

Ryan and I had our photos taken before heading into the hotel, taking our seats at a round table table with Paul, Gary, Phil, David and Nicky, as well as their girlfriends.

The event was long and admittedly, I wasn't paying attention for the majority of the night. There were guest speakers, including the mayor of Manchester, as well as local MPs and members of both the football clubs making speeches on the stage.

There were charity auctions with signed memorabilia, as well as a performance from The Stone Roses, which was when I properly started paying attention.

It was only after this, when I watched Liam, Noel, Guigsy and Bonehead walk into the stage that I almost spat my champagne out, managing to hide it with a cough. Though nobody sat on our table believed me when they all turned to state.

"Sorry," Ryan leaned closer to me, shouting down my ear over the music, "I thought you wouldn't come if I told you they were playing."

My brother wasn't wrong, there was not a chance I would've attended this event if I knew they were going to be here. I'd managed to keep myself out of the press for three months at that point and I prayed that there would be no reason for me to land back in it after that evening.