𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦•𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐨𝐥

5: you're not special

"actually, jeonghan had three suitors. wow, unbelievable, right?" seungcheol joked, earning laughs from the audience again. "it was me, jisoo, and chan right here." seungcheol glanced at chan, who was looking up at seungcheol with a hint of sadness and pity in his eyes.

no, don't look at me like that. i will mess up my speech.

"f-funny, chan and i were the longest suitors that jeonghan had—but jeonghan picked jisoo. love really moves in mysterious ways, huh? best wishes for the two of you, though i hated seeing you two eat each other's face that time the thirteen of us went to the amusement park." laughs from the audience, still that look from chan. "i don't really know how you fell in love, so i can't talk about that.

"jisoo, we've been friends since god knows when, and i'm happy to see you this happy. ever since you saw me with jeonghan, you looked at me with this damn annoying puppy eyes thing. it may have been annoying for me, but i can see the look of hopelessness in your eyes. so i introduced you to jeonghan, narrowing down my chances with him. there also came a time that we stopped hanging out because we hated each other because of jeonghan, but that's all in the past now. i wish all the best for you."

"and jeonghan." seungcheol took a sharp breath, turning to the person he'd fallen so hardly in love with. chan was biting his lip, preventing himself from crying. he was sympathetic to seungcheol. "you're beautiful, goddamnit. at the least, even if you didn't end up with me, you ended up with my best friend, who i know i can trust. i know he will be able to provide all the love and care that you need, and that he will never hurt you. i love you,"

chan's eyes widen. seungcheol was close to crying—and he said the three words!

"l-like a sister l-loves a brother, and a friend.. loves a friend. best wishes." seungcheol hands the mic back to the host, and sits down. when the host calls someone else, seungcheol stood up and runs from the venue.

"seungcheol!" chan called out, not too loud. well, yes, chan may hate seungcheol for all that jeonghan drama but chan feels bad for seungcheol. chan also loved jeonghan, and if he was the one to speak publicly like that? chan would've cried on the first few seconds. if chan also said 'i love you' to jeonghan, he wouldn't have been able to save himself like seungcheol did with the 'a friend loves a friend' thing.

nobody noticed seungcheol crying while running away, so nobody would ever know that seungcheol needs comfort. heck, what better comfort can seungcheol get other than chan's, who completely understood how he felt?

chan debated himself wether he should follow seungcheol or not. you could guess which side won when chan stood up and went to the bathroom.

upon chan's entry, he heard sounds of someone gagging—barfing, probably—and sobbing. chan knew that seungcheol was in here once he saw the familiar shoes of the older man, inside the last cubicle. chan knocked on the door.

"seungcheol? can you open the cubicle for me, please?"

"there are other c-cubicles to—to use," seungcheol shakily replied. chan hung his head back, not knowing what to do. if he leaves seungcheol like this, would it be okay? "go away!"

"hey, i know you hate me, but this is not the time for that!"

"w-what—? no! stop pitying me!"

"i sympathise. please let me in, i will kick the door down if you don't. and you will get hit."

seungcheol unlocks the door, revealing his vulnerable side. chan softens, crouching down to meet the eyes of the older. seungcheol was sitting on the floor, hugging his feet; face stained with tears and hair is a mess. seungcheol buries his head in his arms, crying only even more.

"seungcheol, look at me." chan stretches out both of his arms to reach seungcheol's face, cupping and raising it to look at chan eye to eye. "it's over, we lose. but..uh.."

it was evident that chan was bad at comforting people. seungcheol's mood lightened a little at that. how funny. your mood ligtens up at a failed attempt of someone trying to comfort you? what's that?

"..but we need to move on. i was acting so childish about this earlier, so i don't know if you will take me seriously, like whatever—but still, you get my point here. jisoo won, jeonghan chose him, that's it. i think it means that we're not fated for jeonghan all along." chan says, hands dropping from seungcheol's face.

"i'm a loser." seungcheol sobbed, hugging his knees tighter. "i even said 'i love you'. i'm such a fucking joke."

"yeah, you're a loser, but so am i!" chan cringed at himself, but seungcheol smiled a little at that. "there are so many losers in the world, you're not special." seungcheol snickered, finally standing up. he was wiping his tears using his sleeve.

"you're not special a-as well." seungcheol replied, sniffling. chan and seungcheol walks out of the cubicle. 

"you know, you're disgusting, you're fricking wiping tears mixed with snot using your sleeve." chan made a face of disgust at seungcheol. seungcheol smiled a little and rolled his eyes. "fix yourself! i don't want to go back to the party walking beside a hobo."

"wow, i'm the hobo now?! you went to the wedding with bedhead and one tear falling down your cheek!"

"oh, fuck you!"

they might not say it, but this specific banter session felt good.