𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦•𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐨𝐥

13: i'd happily die

chan was not impressed at all. unimpressed by what? himself. he had been choreographing this dance routine for hours but he's still not satisfied. maybe he needs to clear his mind.

all he'd been thinking about is seungcheol. jesus christ, help this man. had he fallen in love with his rival? (well, that's in the past but they still hate each other's guts—don't they?)

not really in love. just a little crush! right, that's right. it's just a crush, not anything big, not big news. chan gets crushes all the time! well, once! with jeonghan!

"aigoo. i'm hopeless. i want to crawl in a hole." chan groans, falling to the floor dramatically. if it's just a little crush, then his mind should be working perfectly, not even the slightest distractions! "what the fuck, lee chan?"

minghao enters the studio where chan was plopped on the floor. he was also a choreographer, specialty in contemporary. "hello, douche, your due date is moved to next week. they're making modifications and slight adjustments on their music."

"thank god!" chan exclaims. "my mind is not really working right now. fucking hell."

"well yeah, let's go for a walk outside?"

"i can't believe you ditched me." chan says, sipping bubble tea righth after. strolling around han river, the sun blazed brightly upon the two choreographers—thankfully the bubble tea helps them cool down. "you left me with seungcheol!"

"but i know you had a good time. you came home literally dripping and laughing." minghao squinted, like he was investigating rare species. "tell me, are you two dating yet?"

chan choked on the bubble tea, downing it before he could spit it all out and make a scene. minghao laughed at his friend. after recovering from the little choking incident, chan snarls at minghao. "so mean."

"then it means that you're dating seungcheol-hyung, based on what i saw and how you reacted to it right now?" minghao wriggled his eyebrows.

"no! goddamnit!"

the two friends laugh. they kept on chatting and walking around, until someone caught their eyes.

seungcheol is here!

"hey, uh," minghao drapes his arm around the fashion designer, smiling. "are you and chan dating?" seungcheol jumps and gasps, having a mini heart attack at the sudden appearance of the contemporary dancer. part time b-boy, part time choreographer, and also—full time bitch.

"jesus christ! no! why are you here?" seungcheol clutches his handkerchief, looking weirdly at the two choreographers who're laughing their asses off.

"actually... i'll be leaving now..." minghao slowly backed away and retracted his hand.

"no! what the fuck! minghao!"

"i was trying to get some fresh air." seungcheol rolled his eyes and sighed. the younger was quite surprised at this action, completely getting distracted from minghao sneaking away. "what?! you're not the only one who can do that!"

"i was just surprised. let's go get boba?"

"but you're drinking bubble tea right now."

chan blew a raspberry and waved a hand off. "whatever. i drink as much as i want." chan and seungcheol started walking after seungcheol did not protest any more. "what happened to your clothing collection?"

"jinyoung likes it. you? how about your choreos?" seungcheol asked, kicking a pebble before turning to face chan.

"just fine, a little distracted." chan quickly diverts the topic. "hey, imagine if hanahaki was real. what would happen to our love square?"

"hanahaki?" seungcheol asked cluelessly. an uncultured swine, chan is disgusted.

"it's a fictional disease wherein flowers grow in your lungs and you cough up petals. you get it from unrequited love, and the only way to stop it is for the person you love to tell you that they love you back or to take surgery. but when you take the surgery, you forget your feelings about the person you love. if you choose none then the disease would get worse and you die." chan said.

"oh, then i'd happily die." seungcheol shrugged. "i'd never, ever forcefully push jeonghan to love me. or forget how loving him feels like. i want him to be happy and i will sacrifice myself for that because i love him."

why did that statement make chan get the urge to cough? not hanahaki, that would be unexpected. "quite selfless. to be frank, i expected that from you."

seungcheol chortled. "what, because you'd fight for jeonghan's love, completely opposite to what i'm gonna do?"  seungcheol looked into chan's eyes and smiled. "quite like a fighter. to be frank, i expected that from you."

both men chuckled. to seungcheol, this little hanahaki conversation is getting exciting. this is the first time he's ever heard of it and putting himself in the shoes of a fictional person suffering from hanahaki is a new and interesting topic—talking to chan was a different experience. everything that comes out of his mouth is unexpected.

"you're selfless and jeonghan would've liked that."

"you're a fighter and jeonghan would've liked that."

"jeonghan's loss." chan shrugged, earning a laugh from seungcheol. "your advantage."

good thing seungcheol is still busy laughing. if seungcheol noticed his subtle flirting, seungcheol would never let chan live the rest of his life in peace.

"imagine, though," seungcheol says, finally getting over chan's remark. "what if there was some sort of surgery that removes your feelings for someone? that's cool."

"why do you want that to be discovered? do you want to have feelings for someone else.." chan asked, looking ahead. he sees the milktea shop's sign. "..but you can't, because the past is holding you back?"

"yes."

"can't argue more," chan replied. "it's hard to have feelings for someone who's not yet done loving someone else."