Thoughts

1: Beginning And Origin Of The Pain

I’m here on earth
In this miserable planet because of one entity – Mother
Despite the desolateness of this planet that is filled with nothing but pointless emotions and shenanigans, she kept me and raised me.
She tended to me like a young rose bud waiting to bloom in the spring time.
But my soul was tainted. Not colored red but a scary, scaring pitch black.
Black like obsidian, dark like the robes of death himself
I do not blame anyone but myself for not fighting the razor sharp claws of darkness and sin.
Nor did I try to escape the double-edged razor sharp Sabre tooth of disobedience and earthly pleasure.
But I blame my father as well.
His evil conscience and corrupted soul tainted my mother’s womb.
His black seed spilled into my mother’s pure womb and forever destroyed its ability to bring forth clean life.
I blame him for not sanctifying his filthy soul before joining it to my mother’s pure soul.
Before becoming one flesh, one soul and one with her.
And now, neither my mother nor my father will reap the fruit of the evil joining and unclean matrimony.
But I and only I.
The first fruit of my mother’s womb, the matrimonial union and bliss of their marriage.
I bear the marks of my father’s evil.
I bear the evidence of his wrongs.
I show forth the results of the negligence he showed towards his soul.
I alone bear the burden and endure the pain.
I alone feel the burning and aching in my tightening chest and hear the voices calling out to me, screaming, mocking and taunting me for being the ultimate sacrifice to sanctify my mother’s womb to make way for better, cleaner and purer life to come forth.