The Wall~ (Shrek x Trump)

Swamp

Bang! Thump! Bang! Thump! Bang! Clash! Shrek opened his eyes, and groaned. Why was there so much noise outside? Can't a shrexy miserable ogre just sleep in his swamp without being bothered?

He poked his head out of his window, and shouted, "ey! What the hell are yer doing? You interrupted me beauty sleep!"

Many heads (human heads) turned around to look at who just yelled at them, all of them slightly annoyed, but they didn't expect to see an angry ogre!

Everyone panicked! They screamed and ran around the swamp like maniacs! Shrek sighed, "People really still do shit like this? Wow."

Within minutes, the entire swamp was empty, and Shrek was alone... like always...

Until...

Someone...

And not just anyone...

Confidently walked into the swamp...

Shrek stared at the man, and he felt himself get hard. He payed close attention to every feature of the man walking towards him. His spray-tanned orange skin, his combed over blonde-white-grey hair, his gorgeous blue eyes... Shrek immediately realized that he was in love. And not just in love... but deeply in love...!

      The man stared at Shrek. He didn't run away like the others, he just stood there, and he stared. Shrek felt a warm blush creep across his face.

     "Why did you interrupt the building process of my bigly and most advanced wall?" The man asked, with little to no emotion in his voice.

     "A-Ay'm S-S-S-Shrek... a-nd you a-are?" Shrek stuttered, ignoring the orange man's question.

      "Donald J. Trump - the J stands for Jenius. Now tell me, why did you interrupt the building process of my bigly wall?" Trump answered. Shrek looked to the side.

      He's so hot! I need to get him to like me... a voice screamed in Shrek's head. Shrek sighed. First thing's first, he needs to answer the sexy man named Trump's 'bigly' questions!

     "O-Oh... um... t-they woke m-me up... A-Ay didn't-t mean to sc-care therm off, r-really!" Shrek replied. Donald Trump stared at the ogre, and studied his features. He didn't know why, but for some reason, he like a piece of iron, and Shrek was a magnet. Something about Shrek was special, special to him... but he wasn't sure what.

      "It's difficult having people who don't like you for no bigly logical reason... isn't it, Shrek?" Donald asked, as he attempted to start a 'casual' conversation with the shrexy ogre.

     "Y-Yeah... it is..." Shrek sadly chuckled. He stared at the ground, as he thought about his miserable life.

     "I know how you feel... sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up with my bigly wall being built. I was just trying to keep those nasty fairytale immigrants out, that's all!" Trump laughed. He placed a hand on the ogre's chin, and lifted his head up. "Smile, darling, it makes you look much biggerly beautiful!"

     Shrek blushed even more. He had a feeling that maybe... maybe him and the orange man were... maybe they were possibly... soulmates? Shrek stared at Donald J. Trump's face, and smiled. Trump smiled back.

      The two just stared at each other for a while, and both of them were speechless. Trump took out his phone, and tweeted thirty times in two minutes. Shrek stared at the orange twitter-obsessed man in shock. He never knew that someone could tweet so many times until now!

      "Y-Yer... yer the king of Duloc, aren't yeh!?" Shrek exclaimed. Trump smirked, and simply nodded. At that moment, Shrek completely fan-girled. He didn't know why he just realized this!

     "It must be amazing, living in yer own castle!" Shrek squealed.

     "Eh, it could be better. I wish I had a different wife." Trump blurted out.

     "W-What's wrong with your current one?" Shrek asked. Trump sighed.

     "Look, don't tell anyone, but I've cheated on her multiple times. She's just not the one for me!"

     "Who did you cheat on her with?"

     "My daughter, of course!" Trump laughed. Shrek stared at Donald in shock. His own... daughter? Shrek shook off his feelings of concern and confusion, and smiled. Well, if his standards were really that low... maybe he had a chance!

      (We all know that Shrek is much hotter than Trump... but Shrek has crippling self doubt, so he thinks that Trump is too good for him!)

      For a while, there was an awkward silence between the two. Both wanted to continue the conversation, but neither of them knew how.

     "Hey, Shrek... how about you come back to my place, to get whatever is on your mind... off of your mind? I'm rich, very rich. Rich. Rich." Donald Trump offered. Shrek's heart pounded against his chest. His recently developed dreams were now coming true!

     "O-Of course Ay will, ladeh!" Shrek yelled as he pulled Donald Trump into a tight embrace. Trump smiled, slightly. He didn't know why, but he was hoping that Shrek would respond that way.

      The two walked out of Shrek's swamp together, hand in hand. This was truly the start of a perfect fairytale.