Sunflower Café

17

...The doctor said it was anxiety.
But how could it be anxiety?
How could anxiety make me physically feel off balance?
How could anxiety make me feel as though I was fading from this world
and on the brink of death...

–A

Amaya froze.

Everything happened in slow motion. Thousand-dollar-cameras were shoved against her while a mixture of questions and insults were thrown at her like tennis balls, bouncing off the walls of her mind as her brain struggled to comprehend the situation.

This can't be happening.

It felt like standing in a vacuum—her lungs contracting at the lack of oxygen while her heaving breaths turned to hyperventilation. Her fingers tingled like a million tiny needles pricking them. Her heart fluttered as if trying to break free from her rib cage.

Is this a dream?

She felt herself float. The world around her became a hazy blur.

Don't faint. Don't faint!

Her vision danced with sunspots as her body turned numb.

You're fine. It's all in your head.

A pull on her arm. Someone called out her name.

     Breathe.

     The clicking of snapshots reached her ears.

Are they... Are they taking pictures?

"Amaya!"

They're taking pictures!

"Amaya, come on!"

     I can't move...

The ground beneath her shifted.  "Hide your face in my neck."

What?

"Amaya, cover your face!"

She saw herself get carried away to the car—a desperate Harry trying to shield her while the men pressed closer around them.

Do as he says!

Amaya begged herself to listen. Frustration suffocated her while she witnessed herself motionless in Harry's arms.

Just breathe, you idiot!

Harry placed Amaya inside the car, careful not to hurt her as he buckled her in. He readjusted the sunglasses before rearranging her hair to cover her face. "There. Alright, love, it'll be over soon. I promise."

     Let's try this again...

     Breathe.

     Amaya took short shallow breaths. Her chest tightened and she doubled over, her hands tugging furiously at her hair. "They're going to find me, they're going to find me now..." she mumbled frantically.

     She felt a hand on her back rubbing soothingly, but all she could focus on was the sudden feeling of impending doom that washed over her like a bucket of freezing water.

     Just breathe, goddamnit!

     "It's okay, Amaya. You're safe now."

     But even his honey-coated voice and calming back rubs couldn't help her. It felt like the world was shrinking on her—the jumble of screaming thoughts and drowning sensation that clouded her head triggered a claustrophobia in her own mind.