What Does It Mean To Be Free?

Chapter 5 - Loyal or Not

            Now I'm going to tell a story of something that happened when I was still in high school that goes along with the overall message of digging deeper into what it means to be free.

             It was nearing the end of my junior year in high school, and I was telling some of my friends in that class I was in at that time, which was a physics class, about a certain idea that I would put into action that dealt with the end of the year. I told my friends that after the final for the physics class was over, I would walk out of the class chanting no more physics, no more physics repeatedly. Nearly all of my friends laughed at that idea and there was this one friend who told me that I do what I truly want to do. That thought that the friend told to me had me pondering what the person meant. For basically all of my life, I have been thinking that I spend my time doing what other people want me to do. I have had many different thoughts throughout my whole entire life about events and activities that I think that I would enjoy and could potentially be fun to me. But, the question that is certainly looming large here is: At what expense does that enjoyment come? There is an even bigger question than that, and that question is: Would one rather please himself or herself or his or her loved ones? These are two questions that are crucially important to determine because by answering these questions honestly and truthfully, one can then start the adventure in uncovering who he or she authentically is.

             To most people, the first question isn't that difficult to answer, yet what to do about that question depends on one's motives. What if you were asked this question: Would you go and do an activity that you most want to do even if it upsets your parents? Most people would say no, because of the fact that he or she doesn't want to make his or her parents angry. But there are some people out there that would say that, but then go behind his or her parents' backs and go do the activity that he or she has wanted to do. But, the problem with this is that once this occurs, the parents then lose trust in their son or daughter because now the son or daughter have directly disobeyed their parents. That directly parlays into what the opposite of becoming free entails because if one does this even just once, the parents will be so disappointed and so angry at their son or daughter that even at the slightest hint of not telling the truth, the parents won't believe what their son or daughter are saying. There are also other people who would say yes, that he or she would not listen to their parents and do whatever he or she desires, even if it hurts his or her parents. This is just awful to do because this is just saying to the parents that one is going to do what he or she wants to do, no matter what the parents think about it. So, it all comes down to whether or not the cost of what one wants to do will outweigh the potential consequences of such actions. For most, if not all of the time, at least for me, the fun of the event that I think would be pleasurable doesn't even come near the drastic things that would occur if my mom found out that I did participate in that certain activity. While this is certainly an important matter to figure out, so is the problem of trying to weigh the costs and rewards of each decision.

             The second point, although it was discussed above, still needs to be even further talked about. Now, each day, whether or not that one knows it, all of us humans make choices about what to do during the day that affect one's loved ones. Even one small blunder or mistake that goes against a loved one can cause a conflict that wasn't necessary. There are some people out there in the world, unfortunately, who actually want to make his or her parents' lives unhappy. This is just cruel and terrible as doing this will make one have a bad, tarnished reputation with one's parents. Some people do want to make his or her parents happy, but sometimes choose to do unwise activities. But, in order to be truly free, one has to be nice, kind, and sweet to his or her loved ones. This may not make sense at first because of the idea that most people have that being free means rebelling against authority. In reality, it is certainly the other way around as loving one's loved ones will gain one more trust and more affection from them because of how one treats them. It is basically like one will find himself or herself once he or she fully commits to being more caring and more compassionate about one's loved ones.