Beretta (MC#1)

Chapter 13- Him

Yeah, Yeah, I know I'm an asshole. I know.

That's the way I've always been except when with Raven, the love of my life. The woman who chose a better and stronger man for herself. She was a smart woman who knew her feelings and what she wanted. She'd loved me too at one point in her life, I know this because I still remember those tears in her eyes as she said she did love me, just wasn't in love with me anymore. She'd fallen for him hard and asked that I keep quiet about the joke of a relationship we'd been in.

I'd just nodded and let her walk away from me with the broken shards of my poor heart in my hands. Those shards still haven't fixed quite right, maybe that excuses my assholeness.

Rose had been a pain the whole time she was here. Or maybe I tell that to myself because no one knocks on my door for breakfast anymore, because no one wants to go for an ice-cream anymore. Good. We must prepare for the war that's surely heading our way. No way in hell are we handing over this club, built on the blood, sweat and tears of our forefathers, to some unknown entity.

Right now, though, I've been assigned babysitting duty. I scowl at nobody as I remember when Psycho had brought up the matter of Rose's safety. Which was apparently club responsibility since we brought rival attention towards her.

The fucker had said all the right reasons, argued all the right points and Diesel had just approved because that was the first he'd spoken so much at a time. It was almost surreal. That had earned each of us guard duty outside Rose's house.

And she didn't even notice. That foolish woman. I'd noticed how she left her door unlocked and even forgot her keys and cellphone on the hood of another car next to hers. She really was unconcerned about her own safety. That made me enraged.

It had also taken me hours to calm down after she flirted with a couple of guys on the beach. Not at her but at the men. Because they'd followed her home and asked for her number which she'd given with a fucking smile on those intoxicating lips of hers I wanted to taste badly.

Keeping track of her, all the while remaining out of sight was an exercise in patience. I hated the woman and there was no way I'd take another chance at heartbreak. But If I did have a quick fuck with her to get her out of my system, it wouldn't be so bad. Right?

I could never fall for someone like her. Wild, foul mouthed, drinker, smoker with possible ties to the underworld. Nah, I liked my woman nice and soft. Someone who could soften up the hardships in life. But who was I to demand an angel from this world when I was the devil?

Trained by the Red Assassins in the East, I was a demon in the skin of a tamed biker. I'd killed, gutted, tortured. And my parents blood still stained my hands, their last words still echoed in my head and my eyes remembered their faces of relief when they saw each other in the last seconds of their life.

I was beyond saving, but Rose was not one to back down. She kept on trying, and trying, and trying. I pushed her, snapped at her and even humiliated her in a bar full of people that hated her. Yet, she saw the man reaching out for help underneath all of that. And every time she reached out a hand, I violently slapped it away.

Even I wanted to just give in, but I'd stop myself at the last minute. I'd tell myself we're better apart, that she's better away from my darkness, that she's not strong enough to save me and not break herself in the process at the same time. I pushed and pushed and pushed. Just like I'd done all of my life.

"You will shut up and silently lead to your apartment or I will blow your fucking brains out bitch", I shook myself out of my thoughts to find a group of men surrounding Rose, pointing guns at her and threatening her. I'd been too busy imagining running my hands through her hair and kissing her lips to notice their arrival. A primal rage awoke inside me, but I knew I couldn't act on it. On this deserted street past midnight, no one but me saw the distress she was in. And I was too far away to help in time without the robbers noticing me first.