Squidward's Fucking Pussy

What's Happening to Us?

"What the fuck!? Don't touch me, Squidward, I can handle this myself!"

Squidward just ignored Patrick, prying the man off of the clarinet. It took longer than either of them would have liked, but Patrick eventually was free from the clutches of the clarinet. Settling down, the both of them simply stood there, trying to back off of each other after the awkward moment. As Patrick begrudgingly tried to thank Squidward for saving him from his trance, they both unwillingly started to draw towards each other. Squidward was only able to vaguely speak out the words "What's happening to us?"; Patrick simply crying as his body was unnaturally being pulled toward his adversary.

As soon as Squiddy thought he was about to break free, they both were rapidly pulled right up to each other, both in compromising conditions as their lips met.

Nothing was sacred at this point. All the two boys could think about was the harsh and uncompromising circumstances that brought them into this uncomfortable and unwanted experience.

"Patrick, I don't exactly know what just happened. Just make sure no one ever finds out about it." Says Squidward, after the fact.

"Well, Squidward, I know you'd rather just forget about it, but I think your tentacles are very enticing. Tell me your secret." Patrick screams.

"I have a better idea. Patrick, wanna see my tentpoles?"

"I thought they were tennis balls..."

That line was too much for Squidward. He proceeded to lie on the floor, contemplating why Patrick would betray his trust like this.