Elysium

Chapter 22: The Persephone

That day, sun was pallid. Soon after the Persephone had left her pier, sky started pouring drizzle, dotting the surface of the slowly flowing river with countless ephemeral rings, until the entire landscape was dressed in tones of grey.

Mary Darling stared at it through the window of the passengers' cabin, and then stared back at me, unable to decide whether she wanted to cry or to rage.

"We've been together for such a short time only", Mary uttered. Even when she was agitated, she uttered what she wanted to say with exactness and clarity. Stream of consciousness was not her style. If she occasionally was difficult to decipher, it wasn't because of what she said but because of what she left unsaid when endeavouring to say only what was most relevant, and assuming I'd understand the rest. "Were we even together on Atlantis? Does that count?"

"At least the Nautilus counts", I said. Mary didn't seem satisfied at all. Her eyes flared up. If she knew whether my remark was ironical or not, she would surely have reacted. But I hardly knew myself. What could I, after all, know at that moment? So, she continued her own chain of deduction instead of mine:

"And yet you shut me out."

I looked at her. I tried to understand. "Shut you out?"

"Yes", she said, then turned her face out, disappointed, looking at the river, the receding shore which in the drizzle seemed mistier and more distant than it was.

"Why did you have to do it?" she then asked, first not looking at me, but then looking. Worried – no, judgemental. As I didn't reply, she lost her patience and went on: "You guys crossed the limit. You killed people. Crooks or not, it doesn't matter. What matters is who we are. Who you are. Who you are. So, you want to be like them?"

"Like who?"

"Like everyone", Mary snapped. "Like the Palatines, the Templars, the Resistance. Like Ramez and his warriors."

"So that's what this is about?" I asked, but that was of course a stupid question, and not even a question really.

"I would still understand..." Mary clenched her fist on the windowpane and her lips seemed tight too, blocking the next words. She was formulating what she was to say, even in this situation. "I'd still understand if Killie and Turhan and Kunhan and these others – had they done it. But why you? You, Mikael? I don't understand. I only ever wanted you to be a good man. And why did you have to take Max and Roland along? They're almost kids still. Don't you feel responsible? Why on earth did you guys have to do it?"

Now she was staring at me and expected me to talk. She would have continued, but she genuinely wanted me to say something first. As usual, I didn't pick the smartest possible things to say:

"Roland is eighteen", I said. "And they aren't my pupils. They are my brothers."

"Brothers", repeated Mary with anger. "You just don't get it, do you? Your Brotherhood. Oh yes. Killing people is allowed. A justified revenge is fine. Good Lord, Mikael, don't you understand what you guys are becoming?"

"No, Mary, I don't. I don't understand anything", I said, and now I was sure it was ironical. "How about you? Do you understand? Those people in the Riverine – they died for us."

Mary was nodding ironically. "And so you had to do it? Quite so, a justified revenge. And yet last night you still told how we should stay out of their wars. All rubbish. Revenge!"

I sighed deeply before presenting my response: "So, you think we should have waited for them to try to kill us for a third time? Perhaps wait for them to succeed? Perhaps wait for a few more good people to die, and then we'd again try to find a new hide from the evil world."