The Golden God.

Noble.

You are The Golden God, a noble living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pouch of gold and a small dagger. You are awakened by one of your servants who tells you that your keep is under attack. You look out the window and see a large group of men attacking the gates with axes and swords. You immediately dress, grab your pouch of gold, and tell your servant to inform the town guard to fend off the attack. You begin to piss on the walls. The soldiers quickly become overwhelmed and you are stabbed to death. The attackers loot the castle and move on to the town. You come back to life and murder everyone who was attacking. You look around. You are in the courtyard. A few corpses lie about. The keep is destroyed. You see a hole in the side of the keep where the wall was breached. You piss on the hole. A small army arrives to help the town and you are never seen or heard from again. That is, until you overthrow the king. You become the king and piss on everyone and everything. Well, everyone in your kingdom, at least. Because here in the real world, you never were king. You were a noble living in the kingdom of Larion. Which is wrong, because you killed the king. You made a pretty deep comment about pissing on him. You look around. The woods are dead silent, except for the wind whispering past the trees. It is getting dark, but there is still some daylight left. You sit on the throne and piss into the mouth of the queen, drowning her. Then you do the same to the king. You walk outside and cut down every tree in the kingdom. You let it all grow back, but you never again set foot in the kingdom of Larion. You actually did come back, and started pissing on the trees. This little story is what happens when you get drunk and try to piss in the stream by the old elven ruins. You pissed on some elves. And that is what really happened. The night before last, you went into the forest and pissed on a few elves. The elves died because your piss set on fire. And that is what happened. You realize you're pissing into a stream. No, you're pissing on the moon. No, you're pissing on the story of a drunk pisser. Well then, you must be pissing on this website. You wake up, and realize it's a really long time until dawn. You pissed yourself in your sleep. You didn't actually do any of that, but you are still going to have to go to work tomorrow. You go to work and piss on your boss. He deserves it, after everything he did to you. You go home and see a man standing outside your house. It's the weird guy that was watching you for a while when you were a kid. You walked up to him and pissed on him. He looked at you confused for a second, but then he pissed on you back. You look up from the stream of urine. The man has disappeared. A ghost sits on the bank of the stream. You walk over to the ghost and piss on it. It disappears. You go back to pissing on the stream. You see an elven warrior standing there, staring at you. You look up. The ghost has reappeared. You piss on the warrior and the ghost. They don't disappear. Instead, they both pull out daggers and start killing you. You don't die because you're fucking immortal, and use your piss to melt them to death. You stop pissing. It's getting dark, and the stream is starting to look a little more menacing. The trees on the other side of the stream are moving in towards the water. You throw a dead goat, covered in urine, into the stream. It screams as the stream water engulfs it, turning from a clear stream into a muddy one. You realize you're sitting on a dead animal, covered in its own urine. You piss all over the animal. Suddenly, the animals living in the stream start to life swim away. The water clears once more. You realize what you've done. The entire stream has become a large pool of urine. You're sitting in it. You've created a swamp. The animals have fled because there's no more stream, just a pool of urine. That is what you have done. You piss yourself. You die. You don't die. You get out of the stream and start pissing on townsfolk. They piss themselves and run. You laugh and laugh. You get in a carriage, heading towards the city. A lion jumps at the carriage, scratching at the door. The driver screams. The lion began pissing on the driver. The driver panicked and stopped the carriage, getting out. The lion followed him, and the rest of the people in the carriage. You get out of the carriage and walk towards the lion. You jump onto the lion's back and together you piss on everyone you come across. You laugh all the way to the city. When you get to the city, you're taken into custody by soldiers. They take you to a jail cell. You piss on the soldiers. They all piss themselves. The next day, you're put on trial for multiple crimes against humanity. You don't care, because you're immortal. Everyone hates you. You piss on the judge. He falls over. You're declared an enemy of the state and executed by firing squad. You laugh as the bullets hit your body. You piss on the entire firing squad. You walk out of the prison and into the city streets. You laugh all the way to the gallows. You know that you are the golden god. You are forever and always. You find a witches hut and begin to piss on the witch. She screams. A man runs out and holds her hand to keep her from turning into a urine puddle on the floor. You stop pissing. You piss on both of them. They die. You eat their piss soaked bodies.You are the golden god. You are forever and eternal. THE END