The Golden God.

Wizard.

You are The Golden God, a wizard living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a staff and a spellbook. You finish your long journey and finally arrive at the ruin you've been looking for. You have come here searching for a mystical spellbook of great power called the book of essence. You look around and see nothing but a pile of rubble. You continue to search through it until you find a collapsed section of floor that leads to a dark stairwell. As you descend these stairs, you begin to hear a quiet humming noise. You start to piss on the walls. You keep descending. At the bottom of the stairs you see something strange. An entire civilization has built their home in this place. You piss yourself, running around screaming. This is where you'll stay. You'll call it your home. Your name is Louis. No, your name is The Golden God. The world is yours. You begin to explore encountering someone interesting to you. A sorceress. You: "Hello!" Sorceress: "Hm." Sorceress: "Do you mind not screaming? It wakes me up." You: "Sorry." You piss on them. You: "Sorry." Sorceress: "Thank you." You have made your first friend. You have many, many more after that. You piss on every friend you make. You: "Sorry." One day you explore a little deeper into the cave and find another exit. You: "Huh." You leave the cave and enter the woods. You: "Hello?" You piss on the trees. You: "Thank you." A little girl comes up to you. You: "Hello." The little girl looks like a princess. You want to keep her safe, so you pick her up. You piss all over her. You: "Sorry." The little girl screams and runs off. You: "Hi!" You leave the cave and explore more. A man is waiting for you. You waltz over to the man and begin dancing, covered in urine. Man: "Hello, sir. Do you like my dress?" You: "Yes, I love your dress. I want to touch your dress." Man: "O-OK. You lick his dress, and then piss on it. Man: "Thank you." You continue to explore, leaving man standing there covered in piss. Eventually you find a big tower. You know this isn't natural, so you investigate. You piss all over the tower. You: "Thank you." You exit the tower and begin exploring once more. One day, you come across a castle, sitting in the woods. You: "Hello!" No one answers. You piss on the castle. You: "Thank you." You continue to explore. One day, a man approaches you. Man: "Hello, sir. Do you like my bow? You piss on his bow. "Yes." Man: "Thank you." Man walks away. You have made many friends. One day, you have a question. You: "What is the meaning of life?" Everyone looks at you. You piss on them all. "The meaning of life is piss, idiots." You continue to explore. One day, you find a city. You: "Hello!" No one answers. You go into the tower and find a staircase going deeper inside. You continue to explore. You piss. One day, you come across a river. You want to know what's over the river, so you shout over it. "If you throw me a rock, I'll throw it back." You piss into the river. "Thank you." Eventually, you leave the river and continue to explore. One day, you hear a scream from far away. You run towards the sound of the scream. You piss on the person who screamed. You: "Thank you." You continue to explore. One day, you find another tower. This one has two floors. You: "Hello!" No one answers. Piss. You: "Thank you." You continue to explore. One day, you meet a man with a hook for a hand. You: "Hello!" The man begins to approach you. PISS. You: "Thank you." The man with the hook for a hand looks at you. "Do you like my hook?" You: "Yes. PISSY PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS. The man throws a rock at you. "Thank you." You continue to explore. One day, you come across another tower. PISSSS. You: "Thank you." One day, you meet another interesting person. A female vampire. VAMPIRE: "Hello!" You: "Hello. YOU PISS ON HER. "Thank you." You continue to explore. One day, you hear a scream from far away. You run towards the sound of the scream. You: "Hello!" YOU DIE.JUST FUCKING CHOKE ON YOUR OWN PISS. PISS.