You are The Golden God, a ranger living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a hunting bow and a quiver of arrows. You have been searching for a mystical beast for 3 months tracking it through the forest. As you crouch behind a clump of trees you see something move, you quickly loose your arrow at it. The arrow sails through the air and pierces the heart of the beast. You jump up with glee. "Yes! I kill you!" You piss all over the beast. "As you wish" You return home exhausted. You get home and your wife greets you at the door. "Finally home! It's been so boring around here with no men around. You piss on your wife. "As you wish." You say, exhausted. A month passes and the beast has still not respawned. You were doing so well. You piss yourself. "Why does this have to happen to me?" You moan. "I'm a good person." You piss more. "It's ok, you need to eat as well." You grab some meat and chew it. You feel a weird sensation. You start shaking and fall down in a faint. You piss yourself. A minotaur walks out of the bushes. "Ha! Thought I'd caught you!" You quickly stand up and draw your bow. You piss on the minotaur. "Why do you have to be so happy in every situation?"The minotaur throws a punch. "I'm super fast." He says as he knocks your head clean off. You fucking die.
YOU ARE READING
The Golden God.
Humor**VIOLENCE AND PEE WARNING** Tales of the God of Gold. Only for a sophisticated audience. (Credit to Aidungeon.io for assistance writing this.)
