The Wishing Flower

Chapter 22

Ever since our fight, Jayden hadn't even spoken to me once. I didn't even see him in the halls, like I normally would. Was he avoiding me? It looked like he chewed me up and spat me out like a piece of old gum. He probably didn't even feel bad about anything he said to me. I was stupid enough to let my self-worth be determined by a man. I felt myself stand a little taller and walk a little stronger when his arms were in mine. But even if one of hands was holding mine, his other hand stabbed me right in the back. He toyed with me and my feelings to feed his ego. How was I blind to all of it before?

I had a short break in between my classes, but I decided to stay back in the empty classroom after all the students left. I needed some time alone to think. I couldn't let myself be distracted like this back at home, because Zee was quick to notice these things and I didn't want her to worry. At times like this I really missed my father, I know I would never be able to find a man like him. He always put his own family first even if it meant going out of his way to do so. I remember for my thirteenth birthday I really wanted a bike, I even cut out the exact one I wanted from a magazine and kept it under my pillow. The bike was sky blue with white handles and woven basket attached to the front. I didn't know at the time, but my father intended to work double shifts for three weeks to get enough money to buy me the bike I wanted. However, his efforts were in vain because the night before my birthday he was laid off from his job. The economy wasn't doing so great, they told him, but they would call him back once things were looking up again. Despite that my father did not want to leave his daughter without a present, so he went and bought a used bike and worked on it all night to make it look just like the bike from the magazine. He spray painted the rusty frame blue, and replaced the handles and affixed a basket to the front. The next morning I found him asleep on the living room couch, his button-down and khakis decorated with sky-blue splotches. Seeing him like that brought tears to my eyes, and I told my father never to do anything like that again because what mattered to me the most was my dad always being by my side.

I couldn't understand why God didn' t make men like my father anymore. Instead of being cherished and loved, I was being violated and humiliated. My dad would never stand for any of it, he would not allow some kid like Jayden treat me like trash. I should never let a guy like Jayden treat me like trash. I was my father's daughter and I wouldn't stand for anyone who tried to humiliate me ever. Not only for my own sake, but for my father's sake. Since he was gone, I would have to play both the role of the daughter and the protector. Baba, I won't let you down.

I did not want to be Jayden's little toy anymore. I needed to stand on my own two feet more than ever, right. This was something I needed to do on my own.

I went down to the lunchroom and spotted him sitting at a table talking to his friends. I hated how I could spot him so easily in a crowded lunchroom. I tried to be brave, but I couldn't help but feel nervous. My palms were sweaty and my heart was right about to leap out my chest.

"Jayden" I called out to him from a distance.

He turned around and looked at me.

"We need to talk," I said in a stern voice.

He had a stupid smug expression on his face, "Well whatever you need to say, you can say it here"

Everyone in the lunchroom turned around to look at us. I heard the snickering whispers of the kids around, but Now was not the time to lose confidence in myself.

I promised myself to be brave and I wasn't going to run away now. I planted my feet firm into the ground and looked Jaydent straight in the eyes.

"Jayden I'm not some toy you could just play with and throw away. I am human being, too. I have emotions and feelings and unfortunately, I invested a lot of those emotions in you. And you know what, I might not be as pretty and popular as some of the girls you dated but that doesn't mean I am going to go down quietly.

Honestly, I don't even know if you feel even a little bit sorry for what you did. Jayden, you might have a pretty face, but your heart is really ugly and I hope everyone is able to see that until you change". I felt my whole body shake as I spoke, but I tried to keep my words steady and powerful.

"Ok, Sajal. If you want me to say soo bad, I'll say it", he said smiling like a cheap slug. "Sorry", he was mockingly. He didn't mean any word he said.

He then turned around and dismissed me, like none of the words I had just said affected him in the least. The snickers and jeers around me got louder. Did I just fail? All that courage for nothing. There was no reason for me to just stand around and wait for Jayden to say anything else, because it was clear he was done talking. I also said all I wanted to say, so I turned to leave the lunchroom, but I didn't feel satisfied. It couldn't end like this. I wanted him to suffer. I wanted him to feel some of the humiliation I felt.

As I walked towards the exit, my eyes landed on the cartons of milk. I grabbed one and opened it as if I was going to drink it. I quietly headed back to the table where Jayden was sitting, I was going to show him. As I got closer I saw him eating his sandwich. He ate it one bite at a time, chewing each time before he swallowed. I wanted Jayden to understand that what he did was unfair because I was a human with feelings. But I realized that Jayden was a human too, he had to chew his food just like everyone else. To some he was god-like, handsome and charismatic, to others like me he was an evil jerk. But he was neither, or he was both. Humans aren't just black and white, they aren't completely horrible or completely great. We move back and forth, trying to balance ourselves in this crazy world, so we wouldn't tip over too much to one side. And despite how much I wanted to see Jayden as an all-evil being with malicious intent I couldn't. He was a human being, just like me. I passed by Jayden to the garbage that stood right next to him and threw it out the milk carton.

My parents had taught me better. No human deserves to be humiliated by the hands of another. As Muslims, my mom taught me that we greet each other saying Asalamu'aliakum, which means peace be upon you. When you tell someone you come to them with peace, then no harm should ever reach them through your hands. And although, I had never greeted Jayden like, that nor was he Muslim, I couldn't forsake what she had taught me. Maybe to some, it would only be fair to dump that milk carton on his head, but not to me. I wasn't some divine carrier of justice and I knew true justice would fall upon us one day, whether we liked it or not. With that milk carton, I also threw Jayden out of my life as well. I had let him determine my happiness for too long, but not anymore. I was going to write my own story. I was going to be liked, successful, and happy with or without a man by my side.

As soon as I left the lunchroom, I saw Manal racing down the hallway

"Sajal!" she yelled as she ran straight towards me, like a bull charging towards the matador. I stepped to the side to avoid being struck by her horns.

"Sajal. My God! Mr. Bernstein caught me cheating on my test and he wouldn't let me out until I solved the problem ten times. My wrist is really hurting. But that's important right now. What did you decide to do with Jayden?"

I looked at my friend and shrugged, "Manal, Me and Jayden are done".

"W-wait" she stuttered, "Done? Just like that?"

"Just like that", I said smiling

Manal stood up straight with her arms bent at either of her. "Wow, Sajal. You're really something. You've transcended all the problems of this worldly life and reached nirvana. Teach me, sensei."

Looking at my friend's proud smile, I began to feel quite proud of myself, too. I didn't allow myself to stoop low just so I could become even with Jayden. At this point, I didn't care to get even with him, because I liked where I was standing right now and it was much higher than him.

"Hey missy!" Manal's face lit up, " I know what we can do! Let's go celebrate your new-found freedom and stuff our face with fries and milkshakes after class".

"That sounds great! But let's make a stop at my house first. There's something I would like to bring to celebrate with me"

"Oh yeah? And what's that?"

"My sister"