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XXIV » the end

chapter twenty four • the end

important authors note

I pressed my hand to Luke's chest pushing him away. I didn't know what to say or what to do. I didn't know why I couldn't have just pushed him away before he kissed me.

So, in all my confusion, I stood up, and I left. And Luke stayed behind, leaning against the counter as he watched me leave.

My lip felt swollen from how hard he had kissed me. And I didn't stop him. And I didn't want to stop him.

When I pushed him away, I realised I was just as shit a person as Calum was, if not worse.

"Ella!" Calum said as soon as I walked into my apartment. "Where were you?"

"Get out." I demanded refusing to make eye contact with him.

"What?" He asked walking towards me, "I found out who was sending the roses."

He stood infront of me as I tried to push him away, but he didn't even move an inch. "Get out, now." I repeated.

Calum looked down at me, confused. "What are you talking about? Why are you mad?"

I shoved away, "I said, get out."

"Not until you tell me why you're so mad at me? What did I do? Is it because I didn't tell you if I cheated on anybody? Because if that's it, I can assure you, I never cheated on anyone." Calum asked which infuriated me more. Now he was a liar too. He didn't cheat on anyone, but Alexa cheated on Luke with him, which was basically the same thing.

I gave him an, 'oh really?', look, "Luke and Alexa." I stated knowing he'd know what he was he was talking about.

His eyes widened and soon he turned his hands to fist, and it almost scared me to see how angry he had turned into in just a few seconds. "Who told you about that?" I had never seen him so angry.

I shrugged, "It doesn't matter. What does matter is that you didn't. You lied to me multiple times. You actually made your friend even more emotionally unstable then he already was."

"Don't fucking try and make me feel worse than I already do." Calum said gripping onto the counter, "Don't you think I know what I did was completely awful? I know I'm a shit person, and I told you that before we ever became a thing. I told you multiple times. And I know I fucked up, and I fuck up a lot, and that was probably the worst thing I've ever done but don't you dare try to make me like shit. That happened long before you came here, and you weren't there, so don't act like you know all of it."

"Cal-" I tried to say but he cut me off.

"And it not like you haven't done the same fucking thing. Maybe what I did was worse, and to a greater extent, but you cheated too. And multiple times, and used that bullshit excuse, 'He kissed me', you could've fucking stopped him. And don't think I don't know you weren't kissing him right now, your lips are swollen, I know you were with him. I never made you feel bad for that even though you made me feel like shit, like 'yeah my girlfriend's definitely making out with my best mate, but it's alright, because I forgave her.' No, it fucking hurt. But I said nothing, because I knew I deserved it. And I have tried so fucking long trying to forgive myself for what I did to Luke, and I refuse to let you make me feel like I'm still that bad of a person."

At this point I was crying again, because even though I knew Calum wasn't as good as I though he was, I was at no one point to be judging him. I was probably worse than he was. "Calum," I said, "I know I'm an terrible person too, but at least I was straight up with you about all of it. About kissing Luke, I told you the truth, and I shouldn't have done it. And if you want to know more of the truth, you're right, he kissed me again, and I kissed back. Want to know why? Because I'm a terrible person too, but I just wish you had told me when I asked you. I was always honest with you about everything, and I expected you to be the same."

Suddenly, there was a know on the door, and when know of us answered it the handle began to jiggle. Ashton's head appeared through the door, "Get out, Ashton." Calum said in a calmer tone than he using before. Ashton looked between both of us then nodded and closed the door again.

"And here you go again," Calum said, "making me feel like the bad guy here and making me have to be the one who apologises. Honestly, I'm fucking done with being the one alway sorry. You fuck up too, and I love you, I do, but I'm not gonna keep doing this. I'm not gonna keep listening to you tell me all the things I do wrong and me always crawling back to you and apologising, sometimes for things that weren't even my fault. This happens time and time again, I'm not going to fucking apologise this time.

So, maybe this is the end of us."

And he left.

author's note

despite the title of this chapter this is not the end lol but the end is near !! like two more chapters i think :/

anyways i started a new story called broken hearts club and despite the title, it isn't actually that sad. i'm kinda tired about writing about anxiety an depression and self harm, that story doesn't involve any of that just heartbreak but its gonna be good i can feel it !!!

im updatinf chapter two of that tomorrow i think but until then please go comment n vote on the prologue nd first chapter <3

i love u all
-sofi