a dream of paradise

where's my love

Jinnie,

My dear, sweet Jinnie.

I'm so sorry. I just can't do this anymore. Everything is black and white. Everything is being torn to shreds and I just don't want to live in scraps.

I've decided to burn my scraps of a life.

Please keep living, my Jinnie.

I'm sorry we had to end like this.

You dressed in all black. Black jeans, shoes, sweatshirt, hood covering your hair as well. You kept sunglasses on despite the cloudy day as you walked the beach. Sand unwillingly got in your shoes as you walked, but you suppose that was your fault because you kept dragging and kicking your feet.

You could take some form of relaxation with you.

An unwanted memory popped into your head that made you freeze, staring in front of you.

"Let's go Y/N!" Jin ran towards you, dragging you to your feet. "The water isn't even that bad!"

"It's freezing, are you crazy!" You laughed back, pulling against him, trying to get back to your chair. But of course, Jin never could accept defeat, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. "Jin!"

"It's a beach day, not a 'watch Jin be a dumbass by himself' day!" Jin walked quickly to the waves, walking until he was waist deep before throwing you in the water, a movement you did not expect.

"Jin!"

You turned on your heel, walking away from the beach, deciding to take the path surrounding the sand. You had to take your hand out of hiding to wipe the few tears that escaped your eyes as you walked, the hand soon retreating to the pocket it once hid in.

The beach was beside a park, a beautiful, open land full of happy people. A park you and Jin had shared many picnics with each other. He always chose the same tree to sit beneath, never another. It sat upon a small hill, a hill that took about eight strides to reach the top. It was nothing big, but it was noticeable.

"Do you know why I always chose this tree?" He spoke, on his back, staring up at the leaves, or maybe the sky behind the leaves.

"No, I don't." You shook your head, eating another grape as you leaned your back against the tree. The tree was a close friend now. You saw the tree more than you saw your family. You never talked, but the tree was always there, giving you something to lean against.

"When I was little, my mom would take me here all the time." Jin smiled softly, looking beautiful beneath the light of the sky. "I told her this was my tree. I was the king of this tree." He chuckled softly, remembering everything. You tilted your head softly, not interrupting him, just letting him tell you his story. "She said one day I would find a queen to bring with me. She said I had to choose very carefully because once I bring a girl up here with me, she'll know my castle and my weaknesses." You slowly realized what he was getting at. "You're the only girl other than my mother I've brought with me to this tree."

"Really?"

"Really."

You laid the flowers beneath the tree, right against its trunk. "Thank you for everything, old friend." You stood straight, placing your hand against its trunk. "Look after Jin for me, okay? And his new queen." Your sunglasses slid down your nose, giving you a glimpse of the unshaded tree. "You really are a beautiful castle."

And you pushed your glasses back up, turning around, and leaving your castle behind.

You were out of breath by the time you climbed across the forbidden pier. It was quite literally falling apart. It was incredibly old, and horribly built back in it's time. The pier was built too high, so high, it was dangerous.

Signs of warning about death stood before the pier. But that's why you were here. You were here to hug Death himself.

You weren't crying as you pulled out the final bouquet of flowers. You imagined yourself to, but it never came. The wind pulled your hood down, allowing your hair to flow free, dance freely in the wind.

The flowers contrasted well with the decaying wood, its bright colors against the decaying material.

You saved one rose for yourself. One by one, you plucked a petal off of it.

"You look beautiful Y/N." Jin smiled, his hands behind his back as you answered the door. You blushed softly, this only the second date between you two. "The beauty of these flowers don't compare to yours."

He held out the bouquet of roses, offering them to you.

The beauty of a rose laid defeated that night.

That's when the tears finally fell, the last petal between your fingers. They burned your face, feeling like acid against your freezing skin. You hated tears, you hated crying.

You yelped as your phone ring, completely startling you, and catching you off guard. You fell backwards, no floor behind you. But you grappled for the railing, pulling yourself up, the single rose petal was gone.

Panting, a thought crossed your mind.

'If you wanted to die, why did you save yourself?'

But you pushed it away, looking down at your phone. Your eyes fluttered closed, letting it ring once more.

You can't just not answer it.

"H-"

"Y/N!" Jin sobbed out from the other line, a thump echoing behind him. "You're still alive!"

"I have to go Jin." You mumbled, turning around to face the sea once more.

"No no, no you don't have to go anywhere." He swallowed, sniffing hard. "Please, you belong here."

"I don't." You had no fair argument against him. Why did you want to leave again? Because it was dark? Because it was scary?

"Yes, yes babe, you do." Jin begged lightly, nothing but his voice swarming inside your head. The crashes of the waves were silenced, the howling of the wind a mere memory. "You belong here, with me. Right next to me."

"Jin I-"

"Don't you remember last week?" He tried, oh so desperately. "We danced! We danced for so long. You said, you said you've never felt so happy! I told you you had stars in your eyes and you said I had a smile as bright as the sun! Baby, baby let me hold you in my arms again and we can dance like that again!" He breathed heavily, his stress being able to be felt by me. "Please Y/N, don't let that be our last dance."

"You... you remember what I said?" Your hand gripped the railing tightly, your stance firm, unwilling to relax.

"How could I forget?" His voice grew soft, slowly regaining control. "I remember everything. You're my everything, Y/N. I never, ever will let your words crumble to nothing. I treasure everything, every moment we have together."

Your eye caught something. It stuck to the wood of the railing, holding on tight despite the wind fighting for control.

It was a rose petal.

"Y/N," Jin's voice cut into your heart, tears falling all at once. "Just come home."

You slowly lowered the phone, turning around to see him standing there, at the other end of the pier, his phone still to his ear.

"Let's go home."

—-

i listened to 'Where's My Love' by SYML while writing this