Falling Fast - L.S

1

I stared out of the Mini bus window. It was raining and the pavements were a glistening grey. The houses and sky above were a softer, paler grey.

Grey. Dull. Boring. Like me. Like my life.

Maybe today would change everything.

Maybe.

Taylor peered past me. "I think we're nearly there," she said. "So, Louis... you decided yet if you're gonna try for it?"

I swallowed. 'It' meant Juliet in Romeo and Juliet. We were on our way to auditions at St Cletus's - a local boys' secondary school that had invited Year 10s and 11s from our girls' school to try out for the female parts in the play.

I am aware I am a boy, I've always been more on the feminine side and never fit in with the other boys at my previous school, so my parents decided to send me to an all girls school when I turned 11.

I've been openly gay since, well as long as I can remember, so the school didn't bother too much about me being the only boy here amongst all these girls.

Juliet was the main girl's part, of course. But that wasn't why I wanted it.

I looked out of the window again. The rain was falling harder now. I could hear it drumming on the minibus roof even over the excitable chatter inside.

There were about fifteen of us, mostly girls doing drama GCSE with Ms Yates or in her after-school drama group. For everyone else, I was sure, the auditions were just a laugh.

But not to me. I wanted to be Juliet in the play, because I wanted to be Juliet in real life.

I wanted to be in love. To be loved.

I was just sixteen and I'd never met a boy I really liked. I mean, I'd met a few i quite fancied and more than a few who were fun to chat to. But I'd never felt what you could possibly describe as love.

I spent a lot of time imagining it, though. Imagining what he would look like. Tall and square-jawed, i thought. With deep brown eyes that would melt me with their gaze  and dark, wavy hair curling onto his neck.

He wouldn't be able to take his eyes off me. We'd move towards eachother like magnets. Then we would talk and talk, discovering all the things we had in common, sharing our hopes and fears and dreams.

And then, finally, we would kiss. A slow, deep, romantic...

"Hel-lo, Louis." Taylor's amused voice broke through my thoughts. "Are you going to audition for Juliet or not?"

I glanced at Taylor's heart-shaped, dimpled face. My best friend had a sharp prettiness - all sparkling dark eyes and dramatically-long, shiny hair. Unlike me, she was relaxed and confident.

She was the obvious choice for Juliet.

But I knew she was the wrong one.

Whoever played Juliet had to at least be able to imagine what it would be like to really fall in love with someone else. I was pretty sure Taylor was no more able to do that than she was to stop flirting with every guy she met.

"Don't see why not," I shrugged, trying to look unbothered about the whole audition process. "I mean, if you're going for a speaking part, you might as well try for all of them. Not that I really care who I end up playing.'

Taylor grinned. "Yeah, right, Lou."

I shrugged again and went back to the window. My face burned. Trust Taylor to have seen right through me.

The minibus was pulling into a huge, mostly empty car park. Directly in front stood a large concrete school clock. It looked deserted. I checked the time on my phone. Four p.m.