Falling Fast - L.S

14

I Facebooked Taylor and Gigi, then, later, we went out. We ended up in this little pasta restaurant, eating spaghetti in tomato sauce and talking about boys.

I told them it had been good with Harry, but that I was being sensible, emotionally... seeing how things went... It was a total lie, of course, but I couldn't tell them the truth. It was somehow too precious, too private.

Anyway, Taylor did enough talking for the three of us. She and Luke were spending most of their time together now - and as far as Gigi and I could work out, all they did was have sex. Taylor delighted in telling us all the different places they'd done it.

"At the swimming baths on Friday afternoon. We were both soaking wet in this changing cubicle..."

Gigi frowned. "Weren't you cold?"

Taylor ignored her. "Then that night, going home, on the top deck of the number 91. That was awesome. There were these guys at the front of the bus, they didn't have a clue." Taylor twirled up a forkful of spaghetti.

She lowered her voice. "Then this afternoon," she said, "we went to the cinema. Really boring film. So we crept out and did it in the ladies' toilets."

She shoved the spaghetti into her mouth and smiled triumphantly at us.

I stared at her. How could she be so matter-of-fact about it? She made it sound like the list of places she'd cleaned her teeth.

Not for the first time, I felt completely confused over Taylor's unemotional attitude to sex. I'd never gone all the way myself, of course, but I could imagine with Harry it would be mind-blowing. A massive deal.

Gigi wrinkled up her snubby little nose. "Eew, Tay, the ladies'...? You could have caught something," she said.

"No, I couldn't. We used a condom," Taylor said defiantly.

"She means from the toilet." I grinned, then shook my head solemnly. "You're a class act, Tay. A class act."

But Taylor didn't seem to mind us teasing her. In fact, the more we made it clear we weren't impressed, the more she looked down her nose at  us both - as if there were something wrong with us for not having lost our virginity yet. As if we lacked something important - originality maybe, or confidence or nerve.

No. There was no way I could tell them how it had felt with Harry in the park. How scarily powerful my feelings had been. How I'd felt when he'd kissed and touched me - like my heart was full to bursting and my breath was being sucked out of me and my head was exploding with it.

~

Harry and I met up as arranged the next day. It was warm again and we sat out on the open grass in the park. The curly haired boy was working on some history essay. I'd brought a book, but I didn't read much. I just sat there, leaning against Harry's legs, enjoying the sun on my face.

I still couldn't believe how easy it was just to be with him. It was like we'd known each other for ages. Like we didn't need to speak at all.

Harry worked fast, his lips moving silently as he read from his textbooks then wrote another few sentences. After ten minutes or so he seemed to be concentrating so hard I wasn't sure he was even aware of my presence.

I turned back to my book, but I couldn't follow the words on the page. Every thought in my head, every sense in my body was turned to him. I knew there was so much he kept secret, hidden away from everyone. I was greedy for more of him.

I closed my book and turned round, gazing at his face.

He looked up straight away. "Sorry, I won't be much longer." He stared down at the essay. "I've got to finish this today. I said I'd go and help Mum with her work tomorrow and then I'm doing some extra shifts at Goldbar's on Wednesday and Thursday."