THE BREAKUP. j.r

12

part 12

Today i woke up in joshs room. I got up from his bed and i changed into this:

And i put my hair up like this:

I went down stairs and checked the fridge to see if the boys had any food, which they didn't have much but i could work with what the did have.

Close to when i was finishing the boys started to come down.

I finished making the food and put it on the table.

"Foods ready" i said.

I ate and the i went into joshs room because everyone was filming.

I was scrolling through instagram when a bunch of fan edits came up. I started crying because i really really liked this boy.

I decided to delete all pictures, tiktoks, and everything like that. I went on to twitter and posted something.

kOvur <3
nessabarrett whore
↳joshrichards 'homie hopper'
user what happened
lilhuddy i miss you
↳joshrichards fuck off
-press for more-

I started balling my eyes out. I really really missed him so much, but if i go back to him, i know hes gonna cheat again.

⚠️Self harm warning⚠️
I walked over to the bathroom and looked through the room and found a razor.

I starting cutting myself and I remembered that the door was unlocked.

Shit.

I wrap my arm in bandages and locked the door.

I walk back over to the sink and start cut my other arm.

I feel really light headed and and after that everything went black.

-⚠️over⚠️-

I wake up in the hospital and see all the sway boys, thomas, kouvr, and, alex.

Kouvr , bryce, thomas, and josh were all crying.

The others looked somewhat disappointed.

Kovur then saw me awake and ran to go tell a nurce that i woke up.
"Why did you do it?" Josh asked me.

"Do what?" I played dumb. Maybe they wont ask me anymore about it if i play dumb.

"Why did you cut your wrists?"

"I felt like my life was against the world i guess you could say. I also miss chase so so so fucking much but i know that if i go back to his im just gonna get my heart broken again." i could see josh felt broken by what i said.. probably bc nessa cheated idk.

"That doesnt meant you resolve to cutting your wrist Julia! For fucks sakes you could've died!"

"Fine. Chase probably wants me back. Ill just get back together with him. That way you can get back with that bitch."

"Um- were gonna leave you guys alone" everyone said as they were walking out.

"Shes a bitch i know that! And the reason i dont want to get back together with her is because i love you Julia! You dont know how much i fucking love you!! I have for years!! And if you go back to chase then what happens next!? I know this is going to ruin our friendship bu-" i kissed him.

He seemed surprised at first but he started to kiss me back.

I pull away and say

"i love you too joshy. Oh and bring everyone else in please"

"as long as you dont do this ever again"

" i wont I promise." I said as he left the room and told everyone that they could come back in.

"So are you two dating or what" we heard kovur say.

"No kovur" I responded.

"Not yet" josh said emphasizing the word 'yet'.

We were driving back to the house and i put a hoodie on that someone brought me.

It said 'still softish' on it and i got really confused.

"Josh why does this say still softish?"

"Ill tell you when we get back to the house"

We get back to the house and i ask him what it meant.

He said that he was making a diss track with bryce about chase cheating on me with nessa and that was what the diss track was called.

"Oh yeah i forgot to ask you if you wanted to be in my music video with cynthia parker"

"sure as long as people know what he did to me" i responded.

"Ok cool. We already have everything done except for the misic video which we plan on doing tomorrow" he explains to me as were walking to his room.

Im honestly really exited for this diss track.

With that i fell asleep on joshs chest.