Imprisonment

Why are you even here?

The rest of the day I spent in my rood, throwing up every now and again, I didn’t want to make Bella sick with my sickness, Esme kept coming up to check on me but I told her to stop worrying, it reminded me of my own mother, I still haven’t sent a message saying I was ok but I couldn’t not after what I had done, I shook my head to get rid of the train of thought and focused on Jacob’s situation.

Alice came to check up on me and sometimes Seth, but Jacob was stayed down stairs discussing the pregnancy, it pained me to think of what was going to happen, right now Jacob was there holding bella when I felt he should have been with me, just like the night of the storm, but that wasn’t going to happen again because when the baby comes he will have eyes only for her.

My stomach had settled and I decided to go down stairs and see everyone and I got to the bottom jake and Edward were having a serious talk I couldn’t help over hear.

“Of course, their legends say the same about us. That we must be destroyed” Edward said.

“What did they say about the... Mothers?” Jake hesitated.

There was a pause.

“Of course there was no survivors” said a new voice, Rosalie.

She muttered a few more words that I couldn’t catch on to, and then I heard a bang!

I quickly whipped into the room to see Rosalie covered in food and jake wearing a grin.

“You. Got. Food. In. my. Hair”

Jake busted out in laughter, and Alice joined in.

I barely heard Bella talk “what’s so funny?”

I didn’t stay to hear his answer and just went upstairs; I’m not supposed to be here, it doesn’t matter that I am, Jake will still be happy in the end.

~*~

I don’t know how long I’ve been here, maybe two weeks. I haven’t been sleeping properly it’s been throwing me out of whack, things have been really tense at the house, I stayed in my room most of the time because no one had been hunting an a while, even if I did smell like werewolves I still had a beating heart and blood though my veins. Jacob came in mostly to check on Bella and rarely came to see me, I guess this was hard for him, seeing her like this getting thinner and thinner, I couldn’t tell him that she would live and he would imprint on Renesme, its funny I even know what her name will be and they haven’t even picked it, I could hear Jacob bantering with Rosalie don’t stairs when I decided to join them, I couldn’t just wait around in my room from him to come to me.

“I’d like to beat you dead” I heard Rosalie muttered as she got Bella a refill.

“Hey guys” I greeted as I entered the room. Bella was on the arm chair with Edward standing over her, Jacob was laying on the couch looking like he was ready to nap.

“Esme, would like to know if you would like something to eat” Edward asked.

 “I think I’m good, thanks” I answered in a normal tone, pretty sure she could hear me.

“Did you say something?” Edward asked Bella suddenly.

“Me? No I didn’t” she said confusingly, she looked at me and I just shrugged.

“Say something else” he quickly said, and he moved towards her belly.

“like what? Edward, what’s going on?”

Edward, very lightly, put both hands against her huge, rounded stomach.

“The F… It... The baby like the sound of your voice”

There was total silence, and then Bella shouted.

“Holy cow, you can hear him!”

My breath hitches in my throat. No, no this was going to fast I haven’t had enough time here, I knew it was coming but I thought I had more time.

No one saw my mini panic attack, all the attention was on Bella and Renesmee, Edward was stroking Bella’s belly saying soothing words to it, I looked towards Jacob, he looked at Bella with a hard expression, he knew she was happy, that Edward made her happy, that wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough for him.

“What did you called him?” Edward asked Bella.

She blushed “I sort of named him, I didn’t think you would want… well, you know”

“EJ?”

“Your father’s name was Edward to” 

“Yes, it was. What..” he paused then said “hmmm”

“What?” Bella asked, watching him with excited eyes.

“He likes my voice, too”

“Of course he does” her tone was almost gloating, I decided to move towards Jacob, this must be hard for him to watch, he didn’t acknowledge my presence but I knew he felt me.

“Do you have a backup plan” Rosalie said “What if He is a she?”

HE IS A SHE!

Wow, thank god Edward can’t read my thoughts, I mentally sighed.

Edward shot me a look as in, we will talk later. FML.

“I’m thinking of combining Renee and Esme’s names together. Like Ruh-nes-mey”

“R-e-n-e-s-m-e-e?” I said out loud. Jacob shot me a look, I just patted him shoulder to show him I was on his side.

“To weird?” she asked, looking between me and Rosalie.

“No, I like it” Rosalie insisted, “It’s beautiful, one of a kind”

Bella looked at Edward, who was in a daze “what?”

He laid his ear against her stomach, “he loves you, he absolutely adore you”

I felt, Jacob tense up under my arm. I knew what he was thinking, I had read this sentence a hundred time’s over and over again.

“You’re not alone, Jake” I said resting my head in his arm “I’m here with you”

He shoves me, hard. He was on his feet in a flash, and I was right behind him. No way am I letting him go without a fight.

I saw Edward throw him a pair of keys. This was it.

I followed Jacob all the way to the garage.

“Jacob, I know what you’re thinking” I stated “it isn’t going to work”

He stops and spun around “how do you know how I feel? You don’t know anything? Why are you even here?”

“Jake, I’m here to help you? Just talk to me, don’t go running off! Don’t run from your problems!”

“Isn’t that what you’re doing Sara?” he shouted “Didn’t you run away from home for god knows what reason? Did you have a fight with your parents because they wouldn’t buy you a car? Or did your boyfriend dump you? Why the fuck is you here? Actually better yet, go home. You’re making things worse”

I stood there shocked, not once would I expect Jake to say these things. It was like a slap to the face. He knew I hated when we talked about where I came from. I watched as the car peeled out of the driveway, tears spilled out of my eyes, it wasn’t anything elegant either, I was in full fits of sobs with snot everywhere; I didn’t want to go back in the house. Everyone would of heard my augment, even fragile human Bella, so I rubbed my snot on my sleeve and made my way to the place that can make me forget about everything: the river.

~*~

it broke my heart just to write this....