Hate To Love (V's ff)

Chapter 6

I came back home and the first person to see was no one other than Hyejin. She hugged me lightly. After diner, I sat next to Wheein. "Please, don't mind Hwasa." I looked at her confused and then she continued "She is the youngest, so she was so happy when she knew there is someone younger than her is going to live here." I give her a smile to assure her that it's fine but I realized with only a smile she won't be assured so I said "I don't mind her at all. But I have a question." She looks at me signing to ask. "Why did you accept me to live with you?" Her eyes widened. I know it's rude to ask such a question but I can't help but wonder why. I am a stranger to them. Could they own Mark a favor and they hate me because I act like it's my home too? "Because we knew your story. We felt sad for you-" 

"So you pity me?"

"No no, it's just...We were scared at first you would be mean even after Mark had tried to convince us that you are a good person and I actually agree and we thought it's nice to help you know." I hummed. Even the truth hurts or mean. At least the truth. It's better than lying to my face and on top of that we live under the same roof. I smiled "I am sorry if I said something mean." I shook my hand and said "It's the truth, Wheein. Thank you for being honest." I am not even offended. 

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I entered my room ready to throw myself at the bed but then I notice Hyejin is sitting on the bed. Should I ask her to sleep with me? It was nice hugging someone while you sleep. I felt safe. I shook my head. It's so stupid. "Want to talk to someone?" She said interrupting my thoughts and I nodded immediately. I am so stupid. Can I even tell her about anything? Can I not have another Anxiety attack? "Hey hey calm down." I must have looked like I would die so she would approach me like that. She was scared and so do I. She took my hand and made me sit on the bed. "Do you like someone?" I shook my hand. "At least had a boyfriend before?" I shook my head again. She was kinda shocked but it felt like she saw it normal. "You must have not wasted any love on anyone unless you are a fangirl." I laughed and told her that I don't like a single actor. "Why not?" Can I tell her that I spending my time on those depressed days either crying or overthinking? Can I tell I was busy thinking who should I avoid? Regretting my actions? Wishing to die? "I didn't have time to fangirl about someone." She nodded with sad eyes. I wish to know what made her gaze change into sad ones. Realizing... She understood what I meant by not having time. Mark was the only person who calls in the middle of the night. He knew he would catch me crying at that time. All thanks to that one day.

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"Hey, what is making you cry? I will punish them." It was a dark night filled with nothing not even the moon but the only light came from the lamp above the little girl. She always got out of the house at that time but this time she got caught. "Mommy is gone.." She pulled his shirt and continued crying. He hugged her. He wasn't a prince, a hero, an armor but he was a friend. Days went by and he goes there at the same time. Every time her thoughts got worse. She grows more sad. He thought he could lose her in the shadows. So he came with something either with a word or chocolate. She would smile when she calms down and hug him. On that last day, she ran at him and told him that she will leave. His heart broke because his love will leave him alone. "Don't worry, I will catch you." She smiled because he will always do.

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"May ask a question?" Hyejin asked killing the silence that was in the room. I smiled and then asked why Mark have told them to hug me lightly. What should I say? Should I say the truth? "I am not used to hugs." She was going to say something but hesitated.  She nodded and then got out of the room. She knew I was lying to her. What had you told them Mark? I got up to wear something comfortable so I can go to sleep. Living with them is tiring. I mean they have to ask questions about me since I am stranger. I know they don't trust me but so do I. I still thankful for taking care of me. The phone vibrated in my pants. It was Lisa. "Hey, is there something?" I am not even shocked that she got my number even though I didn't give her my number. I was texted by her when I was at Taehyung's friend's house. "Can you come after school at the place Mark got you to?"  

"Yes, I can. Why?"

"Great we will meet there." After that she hang up on me without even answering my question. I looked at my phone. I realized tomorrow. I bit my lip as I was thinking. Would they care to surprise me? Who am I kidding? Let's not create hope or it will not end well.  I will try to be happy, father. Just for tomorrow.