The Adventures of Mercy Song

Love Like The Tides, Always Flowing in

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     Maybe it was just her loss of center of balance. Maybe it was her body's crazy hormone spikes. Maybe it was her own stupidity not to at least educate herself a bit more on Timelord/Human pregnancies when she'd had access to the Tardis library. Whatever it was, River regretted not knowing what the hell was going on.

She made a mental list of things she did know so she could address those that she didn't.

What I do know: Regeneration energy like this isn't common. Why? I don't know.
What I do know: Human Pregnancies are nine months and are technically born premature because if it was long the babies wouldn't fit through the birth canal. Timelord Pregnancies are eight months because regeneration energy is significantly substantial to the child's growth and they are born more advanced than humans. What will be my experience? I don't know. Perhaps the two species will cancel out and it will be nine months.
What I don't know: What the Hell is going on?

Her list went on for quite a long collection of mysteries and questions, most of which she pondered late at night when insomnia plagued her.

Some nights, she could hardly control the regeneration energy from blazing from her, lighting up like a star going supernova, illuminating her room brighter than day. Most days, she could hardly eat the school food, and got take-out or just didn't eat at all. But one thing was certain; River felt alone. In a few weeks, she could expect to hold her baby in her arms, and she was downright terrified.

River would sit on her bed, having imaginary conversations with her Mum, pretending that Amelia Pond sat beside her, an arm around her back, telling her that everything she worried about was perfectly normal and she would be fine. That everything would be okay.

At night, she dreamed of her child's future. She dreamed of her husband sleeping beside her, wrapping an arm around her middle to press his palm against her rounded stomach. She dreamed of his smile when he'd hear his son or daughter laugh and giggle at his antics. River saw his pride as the child stared with eyes full of wonder at the sight of so many stars out the Tardis door. She dreamed of him spinning into the room with another idea, telling the baby where he was taking them next. He'd probably do something ridiculous and get a tiny fez.

And she couldn't bear it.

This child could never have that future. River had decided that they could never know who they truly were, or have the experience of travelling with their father. Because their father could never know. The fewer people who knew about the child, the better.

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River turned over on her bed, readjusting the pillow between her knees, the pillow behind her back, and the one poking from under her shoulders. At night, she had no fear of being seen. The Hallways of the apartments in Luna University had special monitors that only responded to suspicious activity like breaches or prolonged activity after the lights went out to make sure the faculty were not bothered by students after school hours.

Doctor Song stared into the dark, a hand rubbing the sore spot above her lower back. Unlike most expectant mothers, River didn't have time for the fancy creams and scrubs to prevent aches and stretchmarks. As advanced as the technology around her was, she'd have to live the rest of her life with the stripes her growing child stretched along her skin. She hated them. They didn't look cool and acceptable like scars. When she showered, she looked down to see angry pink lightning strikes dancing across the far-from-elastic skin of her strained stomach. She preferred to just wear her projection filter and not see them at all.