The Swordswoman of Arden

Unprecedented feelings

"That was a feeble attempt, Lady Morgana," Mattheus chuckled, poking fun at me as I struggled to draw my arrow back.

"You are a feeble teacher!" I replied, trying not to laugh as the arrow missed the target completely, flying into one of the forest trees behind it. 

"I am not the best teacher, I agree with you, but at least hit the target?" He grinned, and I burst out laughing, thrusting the bow against his torso in defeat. He drew an arrow back easily, and released. 

"Bullseye," he smiled, glancing at me proudly.

"Show off," I teased back, suddenly noticing how much his eyes sparkled in the late evening. I didn't feel tingles like the ones I felt with Lex... But he was so very attractive, maybe I did like him in that way? It made sense I suppose, I'd never experienced love before, and though I felt particularly excited when Lex was around, I still thought Mattheus was the one for me, right?

It was the only explanation I could fathom at that point in time, and so when he stepped closer I didn't move back, because I was determined to prove to myself that this was what I really wanted. His face came closer and closer to mine with a look of pure happiness displayed across it. I'd never kissed anyone before, I was terribly nervous, and just wanted to get it over with. I stood on my tip toes, and put my lips against his.

Nothing. 

I recall my mother telling me that kissing should make you feel exhilarated, but I felt nothing.

Truly, I had mixed up my feelings of attraction with feelings of appreciation again. I felt very angry with myself, for he appeared to be enjoying it, and I was fixed here with my eyes wide open, unable to tell him the truth. His feeling were clearly one sided, and that information could really hurt him. He doesn't deserve any of this, he's a wonderful man. I pulled away, plastering a fake smile on my face, his seeming unfortunately more than real.

"Last one back to the castle loses!" He suddenly piped, bounding towards his gray and mounting. I was shocked, his humour was always lighthearted, and I instantly forgot about the pressing matter at hand, which was the fact I did not love him, and yet father had virtually betrothed us already.

I mounted not long after him, and kicked Rose into a strong gallop. I had made the wrong decision to keep my concerns about the uneasy topic surrounding feelings to myself. Today, Mattheus won the race back to the castle, he had too great of a head start for me to be able to catch him up. Naturally, I told him he cheated, and we chuckled in good spirits, bidding each other farewell as he made his way towards the training ground and I to the stables.

My hand ran over Rose's powerful flank, giving her a well-deserved pat for her efforts today. I picked up her grooming brush from the side of her stall, and began to brush her down. I brushed her after every ride without fail. Not only was it beneficial to her, but I also found it very therapeutic and relaxing watching the dust fly away from her glistening dark coat.

I was humming a tune softly to myself, the birdsong joining in with lovely harmonies. Peaceful was all I ever felt when with the horses, and after I finished brushing Rose, I made sure to check in with all my other horses before I left. All were doing just fine, although I did have to brush my Arabian pony, Hera, as she had taken it upon herself to roll throughout the field in all her muck.

I was surprisingly impatient to finish with the horses and take the path back to the castle, completely aware that the training grounds were on route. Hopefully Lex hadn't finished her day of training yet. I internally scolded myself, this new attraction had almost become an obsession, which for a future ruler of the kingdom was very unnerving. Maybe I wouldn't look this time when I walk past the grounds, hopefully then I might be able to forget about her?

My stomach felt twisted as I neared the training grounds, Maudred's familiar shouts growing louder as I travelled closer. How could something so simple as disregarding someone make me so nervous?

"Princess, may I ask your presence in the arena?"  Maudred's voice boomed through the forecourt, and my heart sunk as I realised how difficult it would be to ignore Lex if she was stood in the same arena as me. I faked a convincing smile at him and walked over, still not daring to glance at the knights. 

"Biron and Percival have been working on their sword game, I think it would be valuable for you to see their level of skill before the first trial tomorrow, wouldn't you agree?"

I nodded my head, relieved that when I finally looked over, Lex was nowhere to be seen. The anxious thudding in my chest ceased, and I calmed myself as they dodged each others calculated blows. They had improved a great deal from the other day, much more agile.

"I'm sorry Lex is taking her break at the moment, she may be back in 5 minutes or so to show you how she's improved?" Maudred was looking at me hopefully, but I shook my head.

"I apologise my king, but I am needed back at the castle to help my father," I lied through my teeth. I hated being deceitful, but I was scared that if I bumped into Lex then the surge of unspeakable feeling would come flooding back once more. Feeling guilty, I tried to make light of the situation, but his answer was most surprising.

"Where is Lex?" I asked casually.

"She visited the stables around 10 minutes ago, I expected her back by now." I was astonished, if she was there when I was, how did I miss her?

"She loves it there," he continued wistfully. "Spends every break I've given her with your horses, I apologise if she's intruding Princess."

"Not at all," I replied quietly, trying to comprehend why we hadn't run into each other earlier. Snatching my focus back before I fell into a daydream about her beautiful features, I explained to Maudred that I had to leave for the castle now. He nodded me goodbye, and I congratulated the knights on their performance before leaving just in time. I'd heard footsteps approaching, and was hasty to walk away as I knew exactly who those footsteps belonged to.

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Lex's pov:

My breath hung in the air, silent as I peeked round the corner, watching the Princess lead her horse into the stable. She seemed incredibly small next to the large creature, and the way she swept the brush over it's hindquarters was mesmerising. Everything the lady did enthralled me, she could stand motionless and I would still be impressed by her grace. A sweet tune escaped her lips, and a familiar tingle caused the hairs to stand up on the back of my neck. The sound of her voice was enchanting, and I nearly sighed aloud, for I knew exactly what that feeling signalled. 

I was 27, experienced and had felt attraction many a time before, but none with someone so out of my reach. The feelings I had caught were cruel and relentless, as forbidden interests were frowned upon. Despite my irk against human nature, I smiled. How could someone so petite, so well dressed have such an effect upon a rowdy knight like I. The way her hair shone in the setting sun, and those pale blue eyes which complemented her fair complexion. 

'You're a mess Lex,' I uttered in my head, finally pulling my eyes away from the magnetising young woman. Making the decision to leave myself unannounced in those few moments was precious. I was able to look upon without her realising I was intrigued by her every move.