The Swordswoman of Arden

Gloom

Besides that one night I spent with Lex, I could scarcely remember what a good sleep felt like. Each day I seemed to take hours to fall asleep, and would wake up more anxious than the last day. It was always due to worrying about silly things, but as it turns out, all my deep rooted fears had arisen, and desperately trying to suffocate them was tedious work.

Thank goodness for all the lovely people in my life, if it weren't for them, I would have been so unhappy. Ada, Hilda, Father and Pat to name but a few blessings, and then of course there was the matter of Mattheus and Lex, the much more complicated dilemma at hand. 

Today, Hilda picked my favourite wine red gown out for me with gold detailing, which instantly lifted my spirits. I sat patiently as I always did whilst Ada sorted out my long hair, and tried not to think about how I was no longer soon to be betrothed, I was actually betrothed.

"Good morning Morgana," Mattheus stated as I arrived with my ladies in waiting at the dining hall entrance. They waved me towards him and I reluctantly walked over.

"Ada, Hilda, nice to see you too," he smiled politely at them, and I almost rolled my eyes at their bashful reactions. 'Take him, he's yours' I thought, but on the outside, I was all smiles and curtseys.

He kissed me as he usually did, and led me into the dining hall which was surprisingly quiet this morning, I guess the knights were still recovering from another eve of heavy drinking.

I grinned as I saw the pale faces on them, and took the opportunity to act extra bright and breezy just to get under their skin. Harry cackled as I teased George and told him I could have drunk him under the table.

I had been going to bed sober, but from the way Lex made a habit of practically falling into the dining hall, she'd clearly consumed half her body weight in wine again. Despite the annoyance and hurt I felt with her dismissive behaviour these past few days, I hoped she was ok.

I reached my seat, lowering myself into it, glimpsing my first look of the Swordswoman that morning. Her face had healed nicely, there definitely wouldn't be any scarring. In an odd way, it pained me that the court physician aided her wound instead of me, I thought it was only fair since I inflicted it, but when I offered to change the dressing for her she declined. 

She barely touched her oats, and I poured her some water, avoiding any sort of eye contact. I could feel her watching me, but I ignored her gaze, replacing the jug once her mug had been filled. She grunted her thanks, and gulped the water like she hadn't replenished fluid in days. Father laughed and joked that she might want to lay off the tavern for a few nights. She matched his cheerful energy, and replied that the tavern was the only thing she looked forward to now.  

Her eyes flitted towards me, and I knew what she meant. I scowled at her before finishing breakfast and excusing myself before my attitude got the best of me. She was acting as if it wasn't her decision to end whatever it was between us.

My bridal fitting was scheduled for today, and I decided to put my mind at ease with distractions. I spent the rest of the morning with Pat, right up until lunch which I helped her to prepare. We cooked grouse on a bed of grain, I baked the bread and apple pie for her so she could concentrate on the main meal. There weren't any picked apples left, so I was allowed to retreat into the orchard gardens to fetch some. The sunshine lifted my mood so intensely, I was almost excited for my bridal fitting, despite the connotations behind it. 

When we sat for lunch finally, Lex was already there, the same dull expression on her face as always. The knights were surprisingly oblivious to her new dismal mood. She had already started her meal, impatiently pushing tawny strands of hair behind her ears as she ate with a pace quicker than my own horse Raven. I tutted to myself as I sat in my place opposite her, she could at least pretend that spending more than 5 minutes a day with me wasn't torture. Her head raised for a brief moment to regard me before returning to her plate. I rolled my eyes, starting my own meal at a sensible pace, trying to hint to her that she was being incredibly obvious and almost dramatic about avoiding me. Determined to nip this behaviour in the bud, I cleared my throat for her attention.