Unbelievable - Dr. Spencer Reid

Four

They freed  the victims who were exactly there, in the cellar of the small house at the lake, where they had suspected them and reunited them with their families. Mrs. Todd jumped into Y/N's arms in relief as she told her the good news. That moment was the reason she wanted this job in the first place. Why she wanted to go through hell for over and over again. Even if the chances of a happy ending were low, she would always fight for it. She would fight to make this world a little bit better and to bring justice to the bastards of this world.  She wanted to make a difference, a change, to help others.

The team was jolly as they sat on the jet back to Quantico.  They knew they had to enjoy this success, because things wouldn't always turn out as well as they did today.

Rossi and Matt had a glass of scotch together. "In honor of the deceased" as the Italian declared. JJ played cards with Agent Simmens  and Dr. Reid read a book away from the others, with remarkable speed.

"Are you feeling better?" Agent Prentiss sat across from Y/N and handed her a coffee. Of course, how could she have thought that an experienced profiler like her, wouldn't notice that she was unwell after the interrogation. "Yes, of course. Everything is fine. It was just a bit much all at once" Y/N slid nervously back and forth in her seat. She didn't want to show any weaknesses on her first day.  Prentiss  smiled. "I admire you. I would never have been able to flirt with someone like him to get information." Y/N frowned: "It wasn't easy at all. At home, I will have to scrub myself with hot water to wash away the disgust." They both laughed. 

"Our job demands a lot from us sometimes." Matt Simmons had just won against JJ and was now joining the conversation. "As long as it's all about not showing disgusting assholes that they're loathed, I'm glad to only deal with the easy stuff." Noted Y/N, started laughing again and took a sip of her coffee. "Unfortunately, that's true," Rossi cheered her on.

"Nevertheless it was remarkable the way you worked. I've never seen anything like that before. You left your real self completely at the door. How did you do that?" Prentiss asked with honest interest. All the agents looked at her now, even Reid seemed interested and closed his book.

"Mind Palace! "  Y/N smiled. " That's what I call it. Remember when I said I had all the stuff I needed to do in my head?" She looked irritated Emily Prentiss in the eye. "Yeah, you said you'd had enough to do and I noted it must be hard to do without any documentation."

"Exactly. I don't need anything for this. It's all happening in my head. It's hard to explain, but I can completely retreat into my head and block out everything else around me. I have folders in my brain that are in different corridors where I can store things and access them later. I imagine a palace visually.   Behind each door there is something hidden. Categorized, sorted, stored and accesible at any time. That's why I don't always have to write everything down directly."

She could describe it really badly. She had always found it difficult to put her thoughts into words. Everything she said felt like it wasn't doing justice to what was actually going on.

The others also seemed a little irritated. "So you save everything you experience?" Luke tried to understand what she had just explained.

"No, I don't have a photographic memory or anything like that. It is just my way of dealing with things. I also forget a lot or deliberately sort things out. Over time I've simply learned how to gather and how to handle things better. That's my way of learning. I always try to visualize thought processes. So, I can remember them better and it makes them tangible. "

"What exactly do you do in such a situation when you're talking to suspects?" asked JJ.

"I retreat into my head to collect myself. There I go through all possible courses of conversations and try to connect with my counterpart empathetically. I've been doing that since I was little. Whenever I was bored, felt insecure or just before bed, I hid in my thoughts. I go through different scenarios over and over again. I call it 'playing' because I am practically doing role play. I slip into my role, I'm no longer myself, I represent the principles of the person I now embody  and act. That's all it is." Y/N was uncomfortable talking about it. She had only told a few people about it. When she was younger, she always thought she was weird and that something was wrong with her. Sometimes that still happened. Eventually, however, she learned to use this ability and by now had developed a precise principle that could help her with her work and communication with the press, victims, relatives and suspects. "Wow, that sounds really interesting.  Something that can be put to good use in this profession. You are really talented despite your little experience. None of us would have gotten anything out of our unsub so quickly." SSA  Prentiss replied appreciatively.

The other members seemed all honestly thrilled.  The ice between them and the newcomer was brooken as the case progressed. They spent the flight talking about all sorts of things. JJ talked about her sons and Rossi about his new book, which he was writing with help from Matt. Only Spencer Reid stayed out of all the conversations. Despite the intense time during the operation, nothing had changed between her and him. He had avoided talking to her for the last few days and when it he had to, he stuck to the necessary things about the case. He avoided her, left the room when she stepped in and pretended she had not been present. Y/N still didn't understand what his problem was or what she might have done wrong or to him. In the meantime, she didn't feel like dealing with him anymore. She found  behaviour  simply unnecessary, even childish. In general, Y/N was a very self-confident woman who had no problems raising her voice and standing up for herself. But when it came to Dr. Spencer Reid, it was different. It bothered her that she couldn't connect with him and that she cared so much what he thought of her. It bothered her that she wanted his recognition and felt uncomfortable and insecure around him. She didn't understand why she was so concerned about what he thought of her. And she hated it. In principle, he was nothing special and they had only known each other for a few days now. But she was sure about one thing: what ever he could do, she could do too. For a long time if necessary and if he wanted to play this game, she had no problem to do so and win.

When they landed again, they were greeted by Garcia at the elevator: "There you are, at least, my fine furry friends!" she announced joyfully and hugged each of them. "I hope you're fine. Y/N how was the first field mission? I've heard that you were invincible in solving the case."  Y/N laughed at the waistband-clad blonde: "Well, I wouldn't call it that, but I certainly had a lot of fun, thank you." "I'm really glad you are here and I hope you'll be at our hand more often now," Penelope beamed with conviction, then addressed the entire team: "I just got off the phone with Derek. Savannah is with the cute little one at her parents and he asks if we would like to go for a drink tonight. Y/N is more than welcomed to join us."  Since  all the agents agreed and Penelope looked like she couldn't be a shoo-in anyway, she agreed to join them.

The team went to one of the desks to get the paperwork done as quick as possible when Unit Chief Prentiss called Y/N into her office.

"I must honestly say that I am very impressed by your sovereignty and work. Garcia was right, and I would like to offer you to work with us for three months on probation." Y/N of course agreed and was very much looking forward to the up coming weeks. She was sure that she would convince the BAU members of herself and her work and that something would come up for Spencer Reid too.