The Bertie Mansion

XXII

"Have you seen Rob lately?" Jeremy had finished his babysitting session with significantly less random creaks, and was eating a quick dinner with Caleb and his brother in the kitchen.

Will swallowed his food before speaking. "I figured Rob just needed a break from us. Why? Do you need him for something?"

"No, we think we've found a way to send him back. A book helped me figure it out," Jeremy explained.

Will snorted. "You can read, Jerry?"

"Yes, Willy, I can read!" Jeremy went over to his brother's side and got him in a headlock. Will struggled and it became a full out tussle until Jade came into the kitchen and stopped them with one word.

"Boys!" she yelled. They pulled apart reluctantly. "I have some work for you. As punishment I have decided to make you clean out the attic. And you can start whenever you'd like, for example RIGHT NOW WILL."

Jeremy groaned and flopped back into his chair. "I just finished eating."

"Too bad," his mother said as she took his plate.

The boys got a move on and raced each other to the attic, climbed the steps and paused for breath once they got up. There, leaning against some boxes, they were. His grandfather's paintings, collected from the junk as Rob's final gift. The dying light shone warm colors on the canvases, bringing them to life.

Jeremy had never noticed before, but they all seemed to depict one person, some as abstract as colors of his personality, Rob Frier. And yet, wasn't his grandfather supposed to have betrayed him, or at least hated him in the end? It seemed he hadn't stopped thinking about his first love.

Caleb stood next to him and observed the paintings. "So that's them."

"Mhm."

"I can see why you wanted them so badly. Don't they look like Rob, if you took away the long hair? Although that abstract one is a bit of a stretch."

"Yeah," Jeremy replied. "But abstract is always a bit of a stretch."

"True."

Caleb picked up one of the paintings and headed to the stairs, stumbling slightly under the weight. Jeremy and Will also grabbed one and started bringing them to the second floor, ready to be hung on the walls. This went on for some minutes, long enough that when they finished Will quit for the night.

Jeremy and Caleb examined some of the bigger pieces of the attic, the latter running a hand over them. "If only I could stay. I'd clean this place up and make it a museum."

"When do you have to go back?" Jeremy asked, fearing it would be too soon. Realistically, any time would be too soon. "Can't you stay forever? I wouldn't be able to pay you, but I can give you food, and a bed. Lend you my clothes."

Caleb coughed and shook his head. He changed the subject instead of responding to the question. "How are you feeling?"

"Why won't you stay? Aren't you all alone in the city? We could have a life here, together. Please stay. For me," Jeremy pleaded. He knew he couldn't live without his friend by his side, not again.

"You make it sound like a marriage proposal," Caleb joked, chuckling sadly. "You're a great friend Jeremy, the most amazing friend in the world. You might not be the best at everything, but even I have my pitfalls. I don't know how I went through those months alone."

"But you think you have to leave? Somehow I still managed to screw up and push you away? I'm too out of control, I get it." Jeremy crossed his arms and looked away, blinking more than he should have to.

"I'll always be there for you. It doesn't matter what you do," his friend promised, biting his lip. The rain had come early, pattering on the roof above their heads. Jeremy closed his eyes and wished one of his favorite times of the day didn't have to be tainted with a memory he knew would turn sour in a few seconds. Caleb reached out, grabbed his hands, determined to see this to an end.

"I care about you because I happen to love you just the way you are, Jer," he admitted. He held eye contact and gripped Jeremy's hands tighter. "I'm in love with you and no one else. And in fact I think I'm too weak, yet you still want me, as a friend. I can't accept your offer because living together as just friends might just be the end of me. I have to stay away, for us."

At that moment Jeremy knew he was looking at the bravest person in the world, hands down. That didn't mean he reciprocated, and it broke his heart. "Cal, I don't want you to go."

"But?" Caleb asked. There was the start of tears in his eyes now.

"I don't know how I feel. I want to feel for you, I really do, so that you get to have me back exactly how you want, and you—you're cute, and everything, but I haven't really felt it with anyone or think I ever will. That romantic connection. I flirt and everything, I just don't really mean it," Jeremy admitted. His breath came in and out of his lungs harshly. It had taken a lot of courage to admit that. The only other person he had confided in was his mother. "On the other hand, I really do want to have a life with you. As a, um, as a friend. A best friend."

"It's okay," said Caleb. "I don't want to force you into anything."

"But I want you to stay!" Jeremy whined through his sniffling. "I'm not good enough to get you to stay. I want you to stay."

Caleb pressed his forehead to Jeremy's. "I can't promise anything, Jer. I like being your friend and well, now you know and you haven't pushed me away, so it's not like I'm completely heartbroken and down a friend." He gave out a watery chuckle. "It's okay. We'll figure it out, somehow. I want to stay too. It just hurts, a little."

"I'm sorry."

Caleb looked him straight in the eye. "There's nothing to apologize for. This is all on me. Don't ever change."

"I wish I could help."

"I just need time."

Jeremy brought him in for a hug, squeezing his best friend tight and laying a closed mouth kiss on his shoulder. The excitement was over with and they'd get through this. They were always better together.