Lovelorn

04

04

Cinderella

"Oh, I missed you so much, Lizea!" Momma said as she hugged me. I laughed at her cheerfulness. She never knew what happened before. I never had the courage to say it. Maybe in time, I will.

"I missed you, too, momma." I whispered back as I hug her tighter. So much.

"I hope your stay with Anne is good? Oh I know it was. But, look at you! You've grown so much!" Momma never really got a chance to visit me. The Queen never permitted it. She only got a chance to visit me once, and that was the Holidays, four years ago.

We chatted for a while until the butler saw us and told momma to get back to her duties. Before the butler turned, I saw him give me a sad smile, slightly bowing his head.

The castle is throwing a royal ball for... Prince Georges. The King is becoming too weak to rule, so the Prince must continue the duties of his father for the kingdom. I wanted to help but I'm not a maid here anymore. So momma just made me rest for the ball tonight.

After seven years, it all comes down to this. After seven years, I'll finally see him again. I'll finally see the man who I loved most and the one who shattered my heart again.

How is he? Is he doing alright after all those years?

I know I shouldn't care less about him but I just can't help it. I love him... still. And I will always care for him no matter what. Even though he care about me no more.

"I borrowed a ball gown for you to use tonight," Momma said to me as she showed me a beautiful blue gown. "And before you say you're not going, I'm not permitting it. You are going and you will wear this. End of discussion."

As much as I want to plead to just stay on the maid's chambers tonight, I don't want to waste momma's effort on finding the gown so I just nodded at her.

The blue ball gown made me feel like I am Ella. And when I wore it, in my mind, I have a fairy godmother, and I became Cinderella. But I know, I am not.

I am not Cinderella who left her glass slipper on the stair at the stroke of twelve midnight.

Momma fixed my hair and the gown for me. The gown was beautiful. I feel like a princess even when I'm just a commoner. A maid's daughter. I looked just like momma and my tante Anne. I looked like I was... from royalty. I looked like I was suited to be on the wealthy society.

I started to saunter down the stairs, a little bit late to the ball. I saw people dancing below and some have their eyes fixed on me. I smiled as I feel like my cheeks go hot because I realized that I'm slightly causing a scene here. The king stared at me in awe... probably because I look very much alike like my tante. Maybe he thought I was her. And the Queen... was nowhere to be found. The ballroom was full of couples who held each other as they swayed to the slow rhythm of the orchestra. But amidst the people, I saw Lyle snap his head towards me. I saw his eyes widen, never leaving me as I walk further down, and everything seemed déjà vu.

I saw him, too. He was dancing with the princess whom he was bound to marry. She's a princess... and I saw how her eyes lit up as she stared at Lyle. But as I made my way to the crowd, all eyes shifted their attention towards me.

I am not Snow White who has seven dwarves. I am not Ariel nor Jasmine who rode on a magic carpet with her Alladin just to reach the horizon. Not even Alice who got to experience Wonderland. I am way far from these thoughts.

I don't have any fairy godmothers, and certainly no Prince Charming who will come and save me from a wicked fairy who turned into a malevolent dragon. I am just a commoner who went far away in a small town. Who surprisingly, received an invitation from the palace to join this grand ball and decided to be present at. I saw some people throwing me an unpleasant look— they muttered something I knew, that was all about me. I strolled gracefully to the crowd as some dispersed, trying to shun someone like me.

No one will ever notice me, a no one, a commoner, but you noticed me just like before. You thought of me as one of the princesses, but no, I am not. I knew you remembered those times you looked into my eyes, and I looked into yours. The first time you held my hand. The first time you embraced me with your warmth and I lost myself to the waves of your stares that went straight into my heart and into my soul.

Just like before, I was diverse and late. Just like before, the crowd dispersed. The only difference, they glanced at me before with wonder and a smile on their faces but now, they glared at me.

Because I am no royalty, and people will only see me as a normal person. I don't belong with you.

Again, I saw you and our eyes met. You started walking after you put your wine down ignoring the princess who was calling out for you. I looked away and ignored your gaze.

I know you remembered our last conversation. The night where everything came crumbling down. I certainly not important, but you gave your full attention to me. I shifted my weight as I fiddled with the hem of my sleeve.

"May I have this dance?" I slightly jumped as I heard his throaty voice. He stretched his hand in front of me which caught the attention of many.

I gathered all my courage to speak to you again, "I can't, Prince Geo–"

"Lyle." He cut me off as his gaze softened.

"Lyle... Thank you, but you can ask her instead." I motioned the princess. I stared at your hand you gestured in for me to take, but I declined.

"Just for this moment," he whispered— eyes were pleading. Words were the same as before.

I suddenly remembered that this is where it all began. I felt the tears forming through my eyes. And with all the strength and courage, I placed my hand on yours and let you carry me at the center of the ballroom. I felt you hold my waist and my hand tightly as we started dancing.

"I am not yours to stay but your eyes couldn't leave mine. I am not a princess but I can still see the love in your eyes," stated I. He sighed as he pulled me closer.

"I remember everything. You're back. And you look more lovely than before," he whispered to my ear. I heard low whispers around us. We got all of their attention, we became the darling of the crowd.

"So do me, Your Highness. Everything," I murmured. "I was gone for years yet you still look like you care for me." I humbly bowed when I realized the absurdity of my own words. Of course he don't. He never really did.

"I did... search for you." His voice cracked as you mutter the last words. I took a step back to look at you. He took another step to come near me as he lifted my chin and kissed me once again. Once more, I found myself responding to your kisses. Not until I heard the gasps of everyone. It burst my bubble as my sanity came back to me, then I pushed you away. My tears suddenly fell and his jaw dropped.

I offered a smile and I spoke, "I am just a commoner who fell for your tricks. You said you loved me but yet, you never wanted to fight for me and for our love." My breathing became fast as I tried my best to not break down in the middle of the ballroom, and he... he was just staring blankly at me, unable to say something.

"They were going to banish you." He stated, but I shook my head.

"They didn't. I left this town. You easily gave up on me– on us because I am not worth it. We are not worth it." I chuckled lightly.

"I searched for you," he uttered.

"I forgave you, my love." I smiled. You reached for my hands but I flinched.

I continued, "I am not a princess from a fairytale. My name is Lizea and you, your highness, were a monster. You stole my freedom! You– you stole my heart! Remember we lost everything because you gave up too easily. But now, I am the one giving up. We lost this love. And from now on, I won't let this love ruin who I am." I wiped my tears and left the room in a hurry.

I already forgave you. But I am not a princess that's why I will never belong to you. We're not from a fantasy. We're in reality. And we can't break what's bound for a royalty. I am not Cinderella who got his prince at the strike of twelve because, in reality, a prince doesn't belong to some commoner like me, and love won't give any chances; because I am not a princess.