Lovelorn

05

05

Prince

She was my only reverie. She taught me how to love without boundaries; without any limits. But we lived in a different world for I am royalty and she was just a maid, a commoner— she is not a princess. She certainly is not royalty.

The first time I saw her, we were still both young. She were helping her mother at her duties as a royal maid. I remember watching her from afar as she was picked up by her mother. I have never been so curious about someone by just watching them before. I never been so interested in someone. In any girls or any princesses... and certainly not the daughter of one of our maids.

"Hey, Grey? Do you know the name of that girl?" I asked our butler when I saw her once again, playing around our garden.

"Your Highness?" He asked again, sounding confused of my question.

"Her." I pointed her when she turned around to go to her mother when she was called.

"Ah! Do you mean Lizea?"

"Lizea." I repeated. Her name should be illegal to say. It's too beautiful. Too sweet. And to be mentioned by someone like me?

"Yes, your highness. Lizea Beausoleil. She's the daughter of one of the maids. Why?" He raised his brow. He shifted his weight as his attention was now all on me.

"Nothing." I shrugged as I shifted back my attention to the bow and arrow that I was holding.

I was fourteen, and she was thirteen.

I have never loved conquering battles in which I was afraid of losing myself into. I never loved holding wooden bows and arrows, rusty weapons and knives. I was never meant for this for I am a prince, not a knight. I am royalty. But I forced my father to let me learn how to use these weapons just to have myself dispatched and be destroyed.

"Do your rules also instruct you to talk to me like... I'm a friend?" I asked her when we had a small talk near my room. I told her to call me Lyle instead of Prince Georges but she just wouldn't listen. I saw her humbly bow her head as she muttered a curse.

I gave a hearty laugh at her, stomach slightly hurting. Lizea? Muttering a curse in front of me? Now that's a moment I shouldn't ever forget. I eyed her with amusement as I cocked my head slightly to the side.

"Glad to entertain you, Lyle." She retorted but I just smiled widely.

"You called me Lyle."

"I know. Yes, I did. But now, tell me why."

I have always perceived that love will only make you feel exhilarative when it's still raw, and in the end, it would only wither, make your heart feel blasé or disgruntled. Love is ephemeral and treacherous, and if the deities of love will condemn me for having this belief, I will gladly accept it.

"In time, you will know." I smiled as I hurriedly went to my room, heart pounding. All my beliefs in love had changed. And it is all because of Lizea Beausoleil.

My heart has always been longing for constant solace and tranquility, but I thought love will never be the answer. Love? It would annihilate me. Like how it was always done with the couples ceasing and breaking up— as if they never thought and swore that they would walk in a path to forever. As if they never told each other that they're each other's home.

"Lizea, I love you." I confessed to her under the starry sky. She made me defy all of my beliefs in love. She made me rebel against the rules, my parents. Bu I didn't even care anymore. My young heart had already been smitten and stolen by her, and only her.

I saw tears forming around the corner of her eyes, "Really?"

"Really." I whispered as I rested my forehead to hers.

"I- I love you, too, Lyle."

At first, I thought it was all normal because after all, we breathed the same air, we stood on the same ground. What's the difference? We are all human. There's nothing wrong with this at all.

"Prince Georges." Grey asked. I know. Grey, the butler. I only trusted him with my secrets. He was my best friend. Despite him being years older than me, we still hung out and became friends eventually.

"Yes?" He gave me nothing but silence so I gave my full attention to him. "What's bothering you?"

He sighed, "I know what's going on with you and Lizea."

I creased my forehead, "Oh? What's wrong?"

I saw a light flicker of emotion in him. He looked like he wanted to say something but instead, he just looked away.

"Is this about the rules?"

"This is more than just rules! This is forbidden! You should not be seen with a commoner, and most importantly, you should not be caught having feelings with her!" He retorted. "This isn't any fairytales, this is reality!"

"I don't care! I love her and that's what matters! No one will break us apart, I won't let them. And I don't care about those damned rules!" I said back, struggling to maintain my temper. I saw him about to say something back at me but I already stormed out of the room. What about those rules? I don't care! I'll fight for us!

So we kept our love a secret. We hid, we acted like we didn't know each other. I taught her how to read and write. We exchanged love letters and messages. And at nightfall, when everything turns dark, that was the time we would meet in our garden and do our old rendezvous. We were so happy that even our own presence pleased us; her unfathomed looks gave me nothing but pure glee.

"But now, I am the one giving up. We lost this love. And from now on, I won't let this love ruin who I am." I stood there, stunned as she ran outside in a hurry. I heard their judgments through their whispers. The princess who I was bound to marry, called out my name but I didn't let her bother me as I went to follow Lizea.

The moment I ran to our garden through the maze, I saw her silhouette only lit up by the moon's illuminating light. I halted and reached for my chest for the undefined feelings. I realized how far our distance was. I stepped closer to her but she just took another step back.

I whispered as my voice broke, "Please don't do this."

"No. Please don't make this harder for me. You already have your own betrothed. And she is a princess, one that is really for you." She sobbed. I took another step towards her but she just raised her hand, signaling me to stop.

"Lyle, stop. Please, stop. You are the moon and I am soleil, I am the sun. We just keep on chasing each other, but we cannot be together. I cannot hold you, nor be you. Only, we can see each other from afar. We just– we can't. And you will never deserve me." In despair, I saw her bow her head as a sign of dismay.

"How can you say that?" stated I. She was gazing at the sky and the atmosphere abruptly changed. "Sadly, yes. I don't deserve you. You are too far to reach." I said as our eyes met.

I took a step closer and held her tight. I embraced her like I didn't want her slipping out of my arms. I wiped her tears and caught her stare. I saw her raw emotions and millions of unsaid words. I planted a faded kiss on her forehead. There was a moment of tranquility before she smiled at me as a drop of tear fell from her eyes.

"Goodbye, my love. Please take care." You whispered as you turned to leave. And that was when I felt her break an imaginary glass wall behind to escape and the shattered glass went straight into my heart.

I will, my love. Be happy and worry not about me no more. Although leaving me alone isn't humanly, I will be happy when you are also happy. We were bad at keeping secrets and good at breaking promises– and that's maybe why the universe made us collide. But collisions never end well. It's either one will get hurt, or both of you will.

And in our case, both of us got hurt. Both of us got stained with crimson red blood.

For she is no royalty. She is not a princess, but yet, I still boldly loved her as she also humbly expressed hers to me.