Lizea Beausoleil, a commoner and a daughter of a royal maid. She had always been kind to others. She rarely do anything wrong, but why does she think everything that is happening in her life is slowly falling apart?
But not until she met the future...
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Mademoiselle Beausoleil Beausoleil Chambers Le Boulou, Occitanie France
Lizea Beausoleil,
I want to go back to our secret garden. Where we chased each other under the starry sky, a few hours before dawn. We were running, catching our breaths like children who went back to their house for supper. There were no distractions. There were no judgments and stares that we have to care about or be cautious of.
We were like untamed animals, everyone prohibited us to get out and when we finally did, we were happy, running freely, with no worries and no faking anything. Just true, raw emotions.
But that was before.
We were so madly in love with each other. We let ourselves be blinded by our love. And because of that, we had to deal with the consequences of our actions.
We both had fallen in love. Amidst the thunderstorms. Amidst the summer coasts. But I guess, no matter how hard we go through, we must still say our goodbyes. I understand why you set me free— because that is what was always meant to happen for us. We were like lines that almost but never rhymed. But perhaps, in another lifetime, we were meant to be together. Imaginably, right?
I just really hope that I can love you the way I wanted to. To give you and love you the way you deserve. But I know I can't do that.
So you deserve someone better. Go. You deserve to move forward, to be happy. Although we breathe the same air and stand on the same ground, I still can't love you freely. And you don't deserve this kind of love. You deserve everything. Of course, I can give you back all the love you offered me, I can give you more than that, more than you ever deserve with no doubt. But we can't– I can't. And I am so sorry.
And as what you have told me before, I will never deserve the love from a woman like you. I will never do. That's why I'm so happy that I got to feel your love, even though it was not perpetual.
Midsummer of 1678, I saw you. I wished I saw the same glint of pleasure we saw in our eyes. Just like how we looked at each other before. But there isn't anything but gloom. Yes, you were smiling, but I know you well. I know you too much, that even from afar, I know you really are not smiling. After all the year, why don't you still have someone to be your own source of joy? To have a man to be with. A commoner you believed you deserve. I want to conclude things, but I know that's already wrong.
For years, I have hoped to somehow change our past. Not in a bad way, but in a good one.
I hoped that you could also stroke your soft fingers on my hair while you sing a lullaby. I hope I can embrace you whenever you shiver in the cold, and when we both feel like everything's against us. I hoped that I can pinch your nose whenever you jealously state the names of any royal maidens I talk to. I hope I can be the source of your smiles, your happiness. I hoped to be one of the reason why you move forward to face every morning.
I hoped that I can hold your hand proudly in front of everyone who we know and tell them that you are already my lover. That you are mine.
And I will never stop hoping that I'll be given the chance to compose a story about us, but this time, it will end beautifully.
I love you so, so much, my love. You are the only one I will ever love. On this lifetime, and on others. Lizea Beausoleil, you changed my life in all sorts of directions. And I will forever be thankful for that. I am lucky that I have met and loved you.
I will soon be able to reminisce our past without the feeling of suffering. Someday, I will be free from the pain of our bittersweet memories.
Yours always,
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