Memoria Mafiosa - A Lim Jaebum Fan Fiction

"What was it like like losing him?"

Y/N takes a deep breath. She crosses her legs and folds her hands around her knee. She stares at the cups of tea that neither of us have touched. They are cold by now, we were too wrapped up to acknowledge them. It's a pity... she makes really good tea.

I wait in the silence. There is no rush to answer, quite frankly, if she didn't want to answer I'd understand. I'm asking her to relive the night she lost the love of her life. How could you pressure someone to do that?

Y/N looks up at me, our eyes locked in known sadness for her and empathy for me. And then she speaks. I didn't expect her to cry or anything, she doesn't seem the type of woman for that, and she doesn't. She just looks... sad.

"I think he knew when he left that night that he wouldn't be coming back. For a long time I resented him for that, how selfish to walk into your own death and leave me alone." Her voice softens, "I cried, a lot, for years afterwards. He went and died and my family disintegrated and it felt like I had nothing. But you get to a point where you have to move on. You can't sit at home feeling pitiful for yourself for the rest of your life... he wouldn't have wanted that for me anyways."

~

Jaebum's phone dings while you are in the middle of dinner. He glances at the message and grimaces, putting his phone away and continuing to eat.

"What is it?" You ask, curious as to what could have bothered him. "Just some annoyances I'll have to take care of later." You don't push any further, he won't tell you.

When dinner is finished and you've finished washing the dishes together. Your clothes a little wet from the small water fight that broke out towards the end. You sit on the couch, tucked under his arm while a movie plays on TV.

Another ding from his phone that he chooses to ignore. "Is there something going on?" You ask, perhaps hoping there's some chance he will tell you.

"Nothing important." Typical, so you turn your attention back to the movie.

The movie has ended and you lay in bed next to Jaebum, your eyes glued to him as he messes around on his phone. He turns to you, out stretching his hand to run down your hair. "If you keep staring so much you might be better off with a picture."

"I have plenty of those and they're nothing compared to the real thing." Jaebum smiles and gives your nose a kiss. "Would you be upset if I said I had to run outside?"

"If you have to I suppose I can't be too upset." He cradles your face in his hands, taking in all your features. The curve of your lips, the gleam in your eyes, the curl of your hair resting on your forehead, and he drinks it all in for the last time.

~

"I like to say he ruined the moment when he squished my cheeks, but I was actually really cute."

~

With your cheeks squished and your lips puckered he places a quick kiss on them and leaves the bed. He stops in the doorway of your bedroom and looks back.

"I love you."

You smile back, "I love you too."

And he goes, the last sound of his presence is the sound of the front door closing.

~

"I didn't think he'd be gone long so as the time ticked by the feeling that something was wrong grew stronger."

Y/N has turned to the window.

"When I saw the flashing red and blue lights, I knew. I knew he wasn't coming back... part of me wishes I knew how long he was laying in the street with 5 bullets in him. Was it immediate or did he sit there suffering for however long... but I think I'm glad I don't."

I don't realize it until the tear strikes the paper, but I am crying. Crying for her and what she missed out on because of the events of that night. And if you cry too I think that's perfectly alright... perhaps that's what this page is for.

She smiles at me, "oh there's no needs to cry, dear, it's been 25 years and enough tears have been shed already."

So maybe don't cry, because Y/N is okay, at least that's what she says.

I wipe my tears away and finish the sentence I was in the middle of. Y/N passes me a tissue.