Memoria Mafiosa - A Lim Jaebum Fan Fiction

"What was your happiest moment?"

"Every moment." Y/N laughs, her features happier than I've seen in our time spent together, "How could it not be? We only got 16 years together, but never once was I unhappy."

"Even during your time in the safe house?" I question, "it's hard to believe that could be a happy time."

"Of course, like I said, he came home every night and each time he walked through that door my heart soared and it was the happiest moment of those times."

"Besides, he was a bad person, but he was a good man."

"What are some times that really stand out to you?"

~

You stood next to Jaebum outside the front door to your house. He wore a casual suit and though he had a confident outward demeanor you knew he was anxious on the inside.

"It's just my parents, you'll be fine." He turns to look at you, his eyebrows scrunched and a frown etched onto his lips. "Remember our first conversation? You told me your dad would hate me."

You laugh, tears forming in your eyes as you double over, perhaps thinking the memory too funny compared to his recollection. He was right, you were determined at the time to piss your parents off by dating what looked like a thug at the time. Now he stood there, tattoos hidden and hair freshly cut to look like 'a respectable young man' as he put it.

"I was joking, I swear." A white lie but hopefully a boost to his confidence. You don't give him a chance to reply as you open the door, Jaebum nervously smooths out his suit as you both enter.

"Mom, Dad, we're here!" You call out, you hear your mom bustling in the kitchen and your dads laugh from the living room as he watches some variety show. You watch your mother's form quickly move to the living room where she chides your father to come greet them.

They appear before you, your mother in a mauve dress and apron and your father in slacks and a button down. You begin your introduction when you all stare shocked as Jaebum hits the floor in an honorary bow. Your mothers eyes are wide and your father chuckles.

"He's just very respectful." You mutter to them, mentally begging him to get up. "Jaebum you can get up, there's no need for this."

"I like him!" Your dad boasts suddenly, clapping Jaebum on the back once he is standing again, and returns to the living room. "Come join me!" Jaebum glances at you, a nervous smile before disappearing after your father.

You sigh, giving your mother an exasperated look and rubbing your temples. "He's really nervous." You explain. Your mother laughs, and you follow her to the kitchen to help with dinner.

The rest of the visit goes perfectly well, you ponder if your father might have fallen in love with Jaebum more than you.

~

"It wasn't a joke when I told him that. I was in that rebellious 'I hate my parents' phase, but he was determined to win their approval, and he did so immediately."

I smile, listening to her tell her memories so fondly is absolutely heart-warming.

"There was one time he asked me to leave him, and I took it as a personal insult. It was the only time I've ever genuinely been mad at him."

~

"You should leave me." Jaebum's voice is quiet, and it's that stern tone he uses with underlings, one he's never used on you. You're standing in front of the safe house, the gray building before you as cold on the outside as you would find the interior to be.

"Don't say stupid things like that." Your voice is almost empty, a hint of a threat behind your words as you turn a glare towards him. He doesn't turn to look at you, keeping his eyes locked on the building.

"I'm serious." He replies. "So am I." Your voice is beginning to raise. You're angry at his words, 10 years together and he's going to pull this bullshit now?

"Aren't you afraid? Is this really the life you wanted to lead?" His words are sad, and they drive like arrows into your heart.

"How dare you." You turn back to the building, sad and angry, "After all this time and you think this is when I would leave? Do you think I can't handle it? If I wanted a different life I wouldn't have married you. Stop acting like a fool."

You walk away, to the door of the building, only turning back to wait for him to follow. When your eyes meet you recognize the fear in them. You sigh, your anger dissipating at the look on his face. You beckon him forward with your outstretched hand, and as he takes it you pull him into a kiss. Throwing all your love into it, hoping maybe that will make it click in his brain.

"I won't leave you. Even if you try and push me away, even if you try to leave me. Lim Jaebum, I will hunt you down and if I have to make you fall in love with me all over again I will." You grasp his face between your hands, squishing his cheeks, and smile.

"I'll follow you across lifetimes if I have too, because in each one there is only one person I would ever want to spend them with, and that's you. I can't be happy if you're not by my side."

Jaebum smiles back, pulling you into another kiss. "I'd gladly have you each and every time, because it's just the same. You are my happiness, and I could never leave you."

~

"Of course, later on he would leave me, but I'll find him again, just like I told him I would." Y/N laughs, it's a sad laugh and it makes my heart ache to think about it. The woman in front of me lost the love of her life, yet she sits in front of me with her gentle demeanor and kind eyes.

The way she describes him it's almost as if he's still here, maybe just around the corner in another room, and she's still a 20 year old newlywed. But he isn't, and we sit here alone in this house, just another memory to be absorbed by the walls.