Occasionally, I Hold You

I.

If there was one thing Jasper could see when looking into those huge green eyes, it was pure and unfiltered innocence. As the larger, more muscular woman lay on her back, the small infant crawled around on her stomach, babbling incoherent nonsense as she looked up at her mother. Jasper often envied her, the way she was able to look at the world with wonder, the way she knew not of pain, heartbreak, or anything of the sort. In a way, the older woman sort of wished she was an infant, life just looked so... enjoyable and fun from their perspective.

She used a thumb to gently caress the infant's cheek, receiving an approved coo, snickering as the small being rubbed her face against her hand. The infant was named Malachite Lazuli, having both of her mothers' names being gem related, they felt as though they should continue the trend with this one. When Jasper and her ex wife were offered a chance at having their own child together as part of some scientific experiment, they took it with barely any discussion. At first they were worried, what if this was all terribly wrong? What if they birthed some weird mutant baby?

Luckily, that wasn't the case, they ended up having the beautiful baby girl that Jasper was staring at right then. Sadly however, that wasn't enough to convince her to stay. Who cared about that though? Right now, as she lay still on her bed, she was happy. She was content with her daughter, all she needed was her daughter.

"Uguu~" Mal suddenly gurgled, Jasper shifted, before gently picking the hungry baby. This was Jasper's least favorite part, Malachite was awfully small even for a baby, and Jasper was rather big, she was always afraid of hurting the defenseless girl, if she did, the ex-marine was unsure if she could ever forgive herself-

No, Malachite was going to be okay.

Luckily, she had been considerate enough to leave after the breastfeeding stage, so Malachite could simply drink from a bottle. Jasper wasn't the best at mixing baby formula, sometimes she added too much water, sometimes not enough, sometimes she added too much formula etc. However, Mal always seemed to like it regardless, so Jasper continued, despite her hiccups here and there.

She sat the infant down in her toddler chair and watched as she began flailing with excitement. Jasper assumed maybe her brain had began associated the chair with food, which was probably why she was so happy, she knew she was getting fed. It only took a few minutes until Jasper was officially done, pouring the mixture into a bottle, she then sat picked up Mal, who was giggling and cooing in her face, making the older one grin.

"Okay Mal, say aaaah" she said, pointing the bottle over at her, almost immediately, the small baby opened her mouth launched herself forward and took the tender part into her mouth "woah! Eager now ain't ya?" Jasper snickered, gently ruffling Mal's oddly thick blonde hair as the small one continued to drink from the bottle until there was nothing left.

Although able to crawl and babble, Mal still needed to be burped, which greatly upset Jasper, she always feared adding too much preasure, after all, Jasper was known for not knowing her own strength-

No, this would be okay.

"Come on Tank, time for a burpie" Jasper said with a stretch, before lifting Mal into her arms and gently holding her. Jasper then remembered what her friend Spinel, the quirky daycare worker advised her to do:

"Three gentle taps on the back with your hand, that's usually all it takes"

As always, it wasn't long until Jasper heard that cute little "urp" noise from Mal, signifying she succeeded in her burping goal. Celebrating her victory a little, she spun the small one around once, before gently carrying her back into their shared bedroom.

Soon, the two lay back on the bed, just like earlier. They stayed like that for most of the day, Jasper liked it though, and she believed that Mal liked it too. When Mal first came into her life, Jasper was over the moon, sure she was rather small for a baby, and due to her unconventional conception the doctors said she may have a few minor health issues, but she was an overall healthy and beautiful child. Jasper promised, the moment she first saw her, that she would give this girl the world, no matter what.

Sure, currently the world she was giving her was a dingy apartment in a sketchy part of town, in which Jasper barely made enough to pay rent in the run down place, but it was all she could give for the time being, but if Mal's happy coos and giggles where anything to go by, the baby did not care one bit.

She ran a finger down the a large pale mark down Mal's brown skin. See, Mal had actually been born with vitiligo, causing jer to have different pale patches on her skin. People seemed to love this, even that Steven boy Jasper would often take Mal over to be babysat by would call her "patches" as a nickname, which the small girl responded to. It was a very cute sight.

Jasper couldn't help but stare at Mal, she was absoluely in love, this was her daughter, and no one could ever take that away from her. She knew motherhood changed people, and it certainly changed her.

She used to be known as a bit of a brute, violent, crude, any not so nice thing you could say about someone. She already began changing when she met her ex wife, although their relationship simply wouldn't work no matter how hard they tried, but it was as if she did a complete one eighty turn once Mal came into her life. The once gruff and intimidating Jasper had been reduced to a doting, soft spoken carer who only wanted the best for her child.

She never thought she would ever live to see the day where she'd treat another being with such love and care as she was with Mal.

"Look what you did Mal" she snickered, ruffling the baby's hair gently "you turned me into a damn softie..."

Mal, despite not understanding a word Jasper said, let out a cute splutter before curiously tapping Jasper's face with her hand. Gosh, for a baby Malachite was incredibly curious and definitely did not know the definition of 'keeping one's hands to themselves'. It was sort of a mess, Mal loved putting whatever she could find in her mouth, and she seemed to have a thing for hitting her head on hard surfaces, if Jasper had a dime for every tim she almost had a panic attack due to Mal's antics, she'd be able to afford a mansion for the two of them.

However, Jasper didn't hate this, she found it endearing, there was nothing about Mal she could hate, no one could hate Mal. Well, she hated Mal, but she no longer matters anymore in their lives. She decided she wanted to toss them aside for something (or someone) else, then so be it. All Jasper needed was Mal.

It wasn't long before she looked out the window and saw how dark it was "damn" she soon sat up, holding Malachite in her arms gently "sorry Tank, it was fun lazin' about, but it's time for bed" she softly spoke, stroking her cheek, already seeing the sleepiness in the little one's eyes. Due to her anxiety, Jasper couldn't allow Mal to sleep in a different room, so her cot was in her bedroom for the sole reason.

She brought Mal over before placing her inside, and tucking her into bed. Not even a few seconds later, Malachite fell asleep. Jasper looked at her snoozing form for a bit before making her way over to her own bed and laying down. She couldn't sleep, which was rather common. Jasper's insomnia often acted up, so not sleeping was a given. She tossed and turned, but nothing was helping, she wondered what was keeping her up.

That was until she remembered something, something that she couldn't believe she forgot. Although her ex wife left their family and decided she no longer wanted any part in it, a few weeks ago she had contacted the courts (rather randomly might I add) over visitation rights, so she could see Malachite. Jasper declined, she didn't want her back, nor did she think the same woman who left her child home on her own in a dark apartment when she was only a few months old deserved to see her. Sadly though, that's not how the legal system works.

"Shit" she grumbled "I forgot, tomorrow's that stupid fuckin' custody battle..."

------

Aye wassup hey-

So basically... I like Lapis, I like Jasper... I like Malachite... I like their dynamic... I like Lapis slander and I like angst so this was then born

Chapters for this fic wont be to long, so dont expect too much each update ejeksks

Anyway byeeeee-