Twin Flames ( Collection)✓

Ashdeep: Panne jazbaaton ke - 1

5 years after YUDKBH

Teezi se badaltey waqt mein
Log aage bad jaate hain
Par pyaar mein jo ek baar pad jaaye
waqt se haar jaate hain

Aaj 5 saal ho gaye, mujhe acting chode hue! Aaj 5 saal ho gaye, mujhe sabse juda hue!
Sabne poocha ki vajah kya hain. Maine kaha ki meri kuch personal reasons hain, isiliye main acting chod rahi hoon. Bas yeh ek jawaab dekar, main bhaag aayi yaha. Sabse door aur khaas kar, usse door. Har shaam maa se baat hoti hain. Woh rokar mujhe waapis aane ke liye kehti hain aur main, main har baar mana kar deti hoon! Kaise batau maa main aapko ,ki main kabhi waapis nahi aa sakti. Uss waqt, aapne mujhpar bharosa rakhkar, bina vajah pooche, mere decision ka saath diya. Sabse wahi bola Jo maine kaha. Main jaanti hoon ki yeh naainsafi hain aur main aapse maafi maangti hoon ma! Par main dobaara waha nahi aa sakti! Kabhi nahi!

Pehli baar mere iss dil ne pyaar karna jaana tha
Pehli baar maine kisiko apnon se zyaada maana tha
Pehli baar kisike sang, sapne laakh bune the maine
Par iss kadar sab bikhar jayenge
Yeh kabhi na socha tha!

Yudkbh- mera pehla show as lead. Iss show ke saath meri saari yaadein judi hui hain! Iss show ne mujhe bahut kuch diya, jisme sabse anmol tha woh!
Saath shoot karte karte, na jaane kab mera yeh dil uspar aa gaya, pata hi nahi chala. Uski woh baatein, woh aankhien, woh shararatein, uski voh aawaaz, uska sparsh, uski muskurahat, uska gussa, uski cuteness, kab man ko bha gayi pata hi nahi chala.
Uske nazdeek aane se dil mein kai jazbaat umad aate the. Ek ajeeb sa ehsaas mere dil mein hota tha. Maine kai baar inn jazbaaton ko dafnane ki koshish ki kyunki kahi na kahi, mujhe pata tha inn jazbaaton ki manzil dukh ki hogi. Par tab tak bahut der ho chuki thi! Yeh ehsaas itna bad gaya tha ki yeh sacche pyaar mein badal gaya! Jab yeh realise kiya ki I'm in love, main bahut khush thi! Par achanak yeh baat mere man mein aayi ki voh kabhi bhi reciprocate nahi karega! Ek pal mein meri muskurahat dhundli ho gayi aur aankhon mein aasoon bhar aayein!

Humne bahut roka magar
Aapki pyaar mein pad gaye the iss qadar
Ki beqaraar dil ruk na saka
Aur aapki oor badhta gaya

Woh jaise dekhta tha, meri care karta tha, har waqt mere paas rehta tha, meri mari hui ummeed phir jagne lagi! Dheere dheere, ummeed badhne lagi ki shayad woh bhi mujhse pyaar karta hain!

Ummeed tere dil mein rehne ki
Meri din pe din badhti gayi
Tere sang jeevan ke
haseen sapne bunne lagi

Ummeed itni thi bad chuki
Ki himmat jutakar tere saamne
Chupe hue jazbaaton ko bahar le aayi

Par kya pata tha ki ummeed karke galti ki
Ek hi pal mein meri saari duniya badal gayi
Teri aankhon mein apne liye gussa dekh
Main uss ek pal mein poori toot gayi!

Main bahut royi uske baad! Aisa lag raha tha ki sab kuch khatam ho gaya hain! Pehle pyaar ke haseen sapne iss qadar bure sapnon mein parivartit ho jayenge, yeh kabhi nahi socha tha!
Do din tak, main kahi nahi nikli. Mummy pareshaan hui aur bahut sawal karti gayi. Par maine unhe kuch nahi bataya! Maine bas khudko beemar bolkar apne kamre mein khudko qaid kar li. Mummy se meri haalat dekhi nahi gayi aur unhone Ayesha ko bula liya! Bahut waqt laga use sab kuch batane mein aur phir, use kaske pakad kar bahut royi! Aur tab maine acting chodne ka phaisla liya!
Main usse bahut door bhaagna chahti thi! Ayesha ne mujhe samjhane ki koshish ki par main nahi maani. Haar maante hue Ayesha ne mummy ko mera saath dene ke liye, mana liya.
Ek official statement deke main Amsterdam ke liye rawana hui.

Pichle paanch saalon se main yahan hoon. Yahan aane ke baad, maine sari social media se quit kar di! Kabhi waapis insta pe nahi gayi kyunki main jaanti thi ki fans ke bahut messages aaye honge aur unke sawaalon ka mere paas koi jawaab nahi tha! Uss din ke baad se maine Ashdeep ki koi photo nahi dekhi. Bas uski akele ki ek photo hain mere paas, jise main har roz dekhkar zindagi guzaar leti hoon!

Yahan aane ke baad pata laga ki Naina ki tarah, mere andar bhi ek lekhika banne ki kshamata hain aur main abhi yehi kar rahi hoon. Meri saari books market mein acchi chal rahi hain par kisiko nahi pata ki yeh main hoon kyunki saari books par naam, Anamika hain. 

Inn paanch saalon mein, main bahut badal gayi! Fashion aur mobile addicted ladki ab inn donon se door bhaagti hain.

5 saal beet gaye par main aaj bhi, usi mod par hu ! Aaj bhi uske liye mera pyaar utna hi hain, jitna pehle tha! Main use kabhi nahi bhool sakti. Jaanti hoon ki voh kabhi bhi mera nahi hoga par iske baavajood, main sirf uski hoon. Aur kisiki nahi ho sakti.

Lots of love,
Pratyu