Just Love Me Once Again

Page 34

LIFE WAS GETTING BACK ON TRACK. For some reason, my stepfather was staying out, for maximum days. I had no one to nag around. And the best part was dating Caleb.

I was engulfed in my thoughts when my cell phone vibrated.

Thinking it might be a message from Caleb, I quickly unlock my phone, hopping around the bed.

"ARE YOU SURE YOU REMEMBER EVERYTHING. THEY KILLED YOUR FATHER, AND YOU KEPT QUIET."

Drops of sweat formed on my forehead, making me unstable.

This message again, who is the person? And how he knows about my father?

I needed to tell this to someone.

Reading the message further, I sat on the bed, trying to control my feelings.

"IF YOU WANT TO FIND OUT MORE, COME BACK TO YOUR OLD HOUSE."

My old house, New York, what's there?

Is this a prank? But who will play such a mean prank with me?

The cell phone number was switched off.

Should I talk to mom? Or Caleb?

No, no one will understand it.

Getting up from the bed, I switched on my laptop. Searching for the flights to New York.

Today, 11:30 p.m. Perfect.

I can go there tonight and can return tomorrow morning. No one will doubt about it.

But before leaving, I need to see Caleb.

Caleb's front door was open. I peek inside to see if anyone home.

His parents were arguing on something, and Caleb was sitting on the kitchen cabinet, frustrated.

" PROBLEM WITH ME? You're the one who left us." Caleb's mom threw the rolling pin towards his dad.

But it passed through him, and struck the window panel behind him.

The sound of glass shattering vibrated in my head. Images flickered, and the black hole in my brain grew and rotated. A fuzzy picture forced its way forward as hammers pounded sharp nails into my skull.

I lay on the beige carpet of my dad's living room. Broken glasses surrounded me and blood, Lots and lots of blood. Pain sliced my whole body. I flipped to escape it, only to scream in agony as something hit my back.

My eyes fixed on my dad's room door. I had to get there. Ignore the pain, and fight through the fear. I rolled to my side, crying out as glass dug into my knees. Glass crunched under my weight. I crawled my way forward. Exhaustion weighed every movement, my mind unclear, and my stomach uneasy.

"Trixie!"

I blinked rapidly to find myself crouched on the floor of Caleb's living room with my hands grasping my head. My heart thundered, and every part of my body shook.

Caleb sank beside me, eyes wide, face full of shock. He tucked my hair behind my ear and spoke in a low, soothing tone. "Baby, what happened? Are you in pain? Are you dizzy?"

I swallowed in an attempt to help my dry mouth. "Shattered Glass. I was there when my dad hanged himself."

Understanding warmed his eyes. "You remember something."

Lightning flashed and crackled in the sky. My muscles jumped past my skin. Caleb drew me closer to him. "It's okay. I've got you."

The back of my neck burned, and my teeth chattered with my shaking body. I sniffed to keep away the tears. If I felt like this when I remembered a flash, what would happen if I remember the whole thing? Would I break?

Hot tears pooled at the edge of my eyes, and I swiped at them with the back of my sleeves. "I'm tired of having nightmares." I'm tired of wondering if I'm losing my mind.

Caleb stroked my hair, and his hold on me tightened. "We'll figure this out, Trixie. I swear, we'll figure it out."

Caleb.

I wandered Trixie's living room for twenty minutes. Trixie had radiated nerves. I wanted to give her plenty of time to be back to normal.

It was Trixie's idea she wanted to be left alone for some time.

Should I stay, or should I go? If I left, I was a dick. Not the person Trixie needed me to be.

My heartbeat was faster. Muscles tensed, I glared at the clock, waiting for her to give me some sort of information for why the girl I loved was screaming in panic and desperation.

After a long thirty minutes, I heard Trixie's bedroom door opened.

Jumping two stairs at a time, I rushed to her room.

There she was sitting on her bed, folding her legs.

"Hey," said her sweet voice.

"Hey, baby. I..." Love you. "I needed to hear your voice."

Trixie.

"You forgot to pick us? Everything inside me became as hard as a rock and just as numb. "Like you forgot to pick up eggs at the store or clothes at the dry cleaners? Like you forgot to pick a piece of cereal that fell on the floor? You forgot to pick dad and me."

I had called mom after the incident that happened to me on Caleb's living room.

It all had happened the night when mom was supposed to pick dad and me for dinner. If she could have been on time, my dad must have been alive.

After a minute of silence, "I, uhh." She cleared her throat. "Robert had some official meeting, and we were running late for it. But time got away from me."

"Which was it?" I demanded. "Time got away, or you forgot to pick us?"

I could hear her hard breathe from the cell phone.

"You were supposed to sign some official papers, then come and get us. It was supposed to be a short visit, but Robert convinced you to stay."

She barely spoke. "I'm sorry, Trixie."

I pushed against the black hole in my mind. There had to be more.

"No!" I bit. "You chose Robert and ruined my dad. But dad did get himself together, didn't he?

I heard her sobbing, "I was only supposed to be gone fifteen minutes. A half-hour tops."

"Did I call?" Because I would have.

"Yes."

The heaviness of her words crushed my heart. "Did you answer?"

No answer came from her side.

Idiot, I was an idiot. No one loved me. Nothing I could do or say would ever change the fact. Mom chose Robert, and dad chose suicide over me.

I used to believe my mom cared. After all, she cared to control every aspect of my life, and I let her. I let her because I loved her, and I wanted so desperately for her to love me back. But I'd been wrong, so wrong. She didn't even care to answer the phone.

"I'm sorry."

I ignored the hoarseness of her voice and disconnected the call. I sniffed and fought to keep the tears from falling. But I needed rest. I needed all the voices and nightmares to go away.