Just Love Me Once Again

Page 17

Natalie and I met up Saturday night. I'd taken the ACT again this morning, come home, accidentally fallen asleep, and then woken up less than twenty minutes before Natalie arrived.

I wanted to keep our date, even though I had spent the better part of the last days trying not to think of someone else. There was nothing between Trixie and me. There was no reason to call off a date with a two-year-long girlfriend just because I kissed another girl, even if I did feel a little guilty about it.

Natalie was easy, and I needed easy.

I deserved it. I just need to get my body under control.

"So, I've been trying to ask you something." Natalie seemed amused but timid as we finished our pizza.

"I'm listening."

"You mentioned this girl that your character was friends within the monologue. They were close. You said she drove a Mazda CX-5?"

I nodded, wondering where he was going with this.

"Trixie drives a Mazda CX-5," She pointed out.

Sweat broke out my brow, but I nodded again. I knew what she was getting at, but there wouldn't be any answers if that was what she was hoping for.

It was bad enough that I'd kissed Trixie, behind Natalie's back, but Trixie and I had only one kiss. And that's all there would be.

"And?" She placed her elbows on the table and crossed her arms, leaning in.

"And what was your question?" I hoped being evasive would come off cute, and then she'd surrender her line of questioning.

Looking to the side and then back to me, she laughed under her breath. "I noticed her giving you her undivided attention during that monologue. Have you and Trixie became friends? Her wide brown eyes were interested.

"How do you mean?" Playing hard to get was turning out to be easy.

She looked like she was trying to contain a smile, but she pressed further. " Was the monologue about her?"

I cocked my head at her. " I thought the monologues were supposed to be from a book or film?"

"What book or film did yours come from?" she shot back.

"It'll be in my essay," I whispered when the waitress brought my card and receipt back. " But Trixie is nothing to me, just so you know."

Her lips curled up at the corner, hopefully, satisfied with what I gave her.

Taking my hand, she led me out of the restaurant and to her car. Unfortunately, she was driving.

"Let'sgo see the movie, and afterward we can go back to my place." Sliding intothe driver seat, she said.

"Caleb! There you guys are. The movie theater is pack." Cisco waved towards us from the entrance.

Cisco and Dustin were already there, waiting for us.

IN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES of the movie, we met a teenager who is in high school. Ten minutes in, we watched him suffer and disturbed from his parents daily arguments. Twenty minutes into the movie, the boy was trying to suicide.

Nausea swelled my throat, my tongue, felt ten sizes too big, and I couldn't breathe. No matter how much air I tried to suck in, none of it went into my lungs. I sprang from my seat and tripped down the dark stairs of the theater to the sounds of men screaming.

I raced for the men's bathroom, busted past the door and clung to the cold sink. The mirror revealed a nightmare. Sweats drooled down my forehead, and my entire body shook like an earthquake.

The image of the boy hanging from the fan flashed my mind. The bile inched up my throat. Oh God, the same thing shown in the movie, happened to me. Four years earlier, fed up from all my parent's screams, and the news of their divorce, shook me up badly. And one night, I decided to end my life. I tried to kill myself, from hanging down the fan, but never dared to do it.

My body wrenched forward, my stomach cramped, and I coughed with dry heave.

My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. Natalie texted me: Where r u?

In the boy's bathroom, losing my mind, there was no way I could go back.

"Too violent for me. Meet you after the movie."

I waited a few seconds, and my phone vibrated again: Cool cu then.

Eight-thirty.

I had two and a half hours to blow until the end of the movie. The food court sat right next to the movie theater. I needed something to drink.

The employees of the food court were cleaning and preparing to close. But some places stayed open to feed the night owls. I headed to one, the burger joint that had stools next to the counter.

I sat on the stool and watched some tall guy handling the burgers.

" Excuse me?"

The cook turned and flashed his teeth. "What can I do for you?"

"Can I have a glass of water and a nice thick burger on a toasted bun with salty fries on the side, please?" And please let it be quick.

I sucked on my straw, gulping the ice water down. Funny, water didn't give me that warm, fuzzy, full feeling like a burger and fries would.

As I was about to take the first bite of my delicious looking burger, I heard a familiar voice, "Shouldn't you be on a date with your girlfriend?"

You got to be kidding me, Trixie, here in the movie theater.

Trixie walks around to take the seat beside me.

"I was, I mean, I am. Natalie's still in the movie theater." Why was I rambling?

She narrowed her eyes, "If you're on a date. Why aren't you in there with her?"

I stared down at the fries. They looked so golden and crispy.

I smacked my lips and bite into the succulent burger. The burger caught in my throat, and I choked. Trixie stifled a laugh while sliding my water toward me.

"We were running late, and I didn't know what movie she'd chosen until it started. I didn't like the movie, so I came out." I stirred my water with my straw, while the images of the boy hanging himself tortured my mind.

"So why isn't she out here with you?"

Good question. "I told her to stay and watch the movie. She'd been looking forward to it."

"You deserve better." She pushed her coke can on the table.

Like a girl who could eat dinner with me and take all my fries? A girl who broke rules, so I could listen to my father, telling me to stay away from these kinds of girls? A girl who set me fire with a simple touch? But Trixie couldn't possibly want a guy like me.

I finished my hamburger and pushed the plate. "Thanks. I guess I should let you go home."

"What are you going to do?"

"Maybe head to the arcade and hope someone left some quarters on the table, so I can play pool."

Trixie raised an eyebrow. "You play pool?"

I pulled her off the seat. "Come on, let's go see if you pool like you did math."

We walked toward the arcade, and Trixie holds my hands in her. The gesture took me by surprise and caused my heart to stutter.

This was Beatrice Borromeo. The Beatrice Borromeo, that refused steady relationships, or even dating. The Beatrice Borromeo that only wanted one-night stands. My opposite and right now, everything I wanted.