Different Now

Understand

Jean was texting me. It was how I tried to get my mind off of stuff. Texting wasn't the answer though because this all started with texting. I just looked up at my desk and the piles of homework and wished she understood. Jean can't know. She can't. I thought that over and aver again, but I want to tell her I need to tell her. So, I fought with myself until I had and idea.

I texted her asking for her to come over. I told her I needed her help, and that I just don't understand what to do. It wasn't the whole truth, but it's what she needs to know and what she can know. I had to give ber something.

So, I sat after she said she'd be right over. I was half excited and half nervous. I wasn't just worried about what was happening, but what would happen to Jean. My thoughts were interrupted though by Jean. She was yelling down the hall. "Meg! Meg I'm here!" I moved over to the bean bag in the corner, and hoped she'd shut up. I waited until she was quiet for while until I told her to come in.

"Hi. I'm so," she stopped talking and just looked at me. "What's wrong?" I wanted to tell her. I really really did. "I don't understand," I managed to say. Jean looked over at my desk and then back at me. "What do you wanna start with? It's not to hard," she looked a bit awkward standing there. "It's really hard. It's confusing."

"Oh come on Meg. Do you have your notes? I'll explain," Jean was looking through the textbooks I through on my desk. "Damnit Jean," I muttered. She looked up. I guess I muttered it just loud enough to hear."Meg I don't understand now." Of course she didn't. Did she need to though? Is it her fight because just because we're best friends doesn't mean she needs to always protect me. Does it?

"Jean it's not school." I stormed out of the room, and waited in the bathroom until she left. I waited even longer and held the phone in my hand. Should I do it?