Different Now

Want to Tell

I can't even get dressed without being scared. It is just a reminder. I hated getting a shower because of it, but I still took my phone with me. So, I just went to school in the same clothes I have worn foe three days and two nights. I didn't even change for gym, and the teacher just scowled at me for being in jeans. In school it worse because I would have to change in public. Then the boys can see me in my stupid gym shorts.

Some girls, like Lacey, enjoy it. She has the smallest shorts. Lacey sometimes get dressed in her shorts and then skips class. She is still on the field or in the gym, but she hides under the bleachers with her current boyfriend and makes out all class. Lacey loves gym because it's the only class teachers can't yell at her for her revealing clothes. I.guess she forgets some girls fight to not be kissed while she fights for it. It's disgusting.

I hate her, but she always talks to me. Now Lacey hates me to she just wants to make m uncomfortable. Sometimes she sits to close or says stupid stuff. The worst part is the parties. She invites me to wild parties and makes fun of me when I don't come. After gym a wondered the halls trying to avoid her. When I felt out of her clutches I went to lunch.

It was already crowded and loud. I searched for an empty table, but somehow my feet found my old table. The corner table where I sat before things were different. Jean was there starring up at me like a child. I sat down. There was a few words exchanged before she asked. She asked about Seth. Why? Why was it her business?! I ran out like the chicken I am.

I ran to the girls bathroom and cried. I am so useless. I cried till I felt like I couldn't cry anymore. I pulled myself together and thought. It's her business because we are best friends. Wait. We were best friends. It isn't her business to know, but I can't get angry at her for asking. So, I walked back to the haunting lunchroom.

"I'm sorry," I said. Of course she said it was okay. We had some small talk and laughed for the first time together in months. It was right then when I knew I wanted our friendship back. Then he looked at me, and it was right then I knew I couldn't have it. "What are you looking at? What's wrong?" Leave it to her to be so concerned. Jean could always read your face. "Oh, nothing. I just have to go." That's the last words I said to her. Before that I almost told her about it. I almost forgot things were different now andasked for her help. But I didn't.