Fake It...Easy, Right? [DISCONTINUED]

THREE

YOONGI POV

Everyone had left me to rest in my room. Yet they had gone through the entire room to make sure I had nothing to hurt myself, little did they know I had my ways. I sighed and got up after a couple hours of sleep, walking to the bathroom and using it. I looked in the mirror as thoughts rushed through my mind.

Should have died

They don't need you, Yoongi

You're a burden to them

Find a way to cut

Find a way to kill yourself

At that exact moment I started crying again, I heard my bedroom door open as well as the bathroom door. I was hugging my knees crouching on the floor as I was embraced all around, I did but didn't want it.

"Yoongs, we wanna talk to you. Wanna come to the living room with us?" I recognized the voice as Hoseok's. I slowly nodded and got up, walking to the living room with them all. I sat down as tears still flowed.

Taehyung sat to my right, Jin to my left. Taehyung kissed my cheek and wiped my tears, holding my hand.

"Yoongi...why uh...why?" I could tell he was trying not to cry (Tae). I looked up at him and sighed, looking back down.

"It was too much...I just. This whole time it's been building up. I hate...I hate myself." I choked out, Jin wrapped his arms around me, crying onto my shoulder.

"Hyung...you don't have to feel that way. You're amazing, talented, you have good looks...why don't you like yourself?"

I chuckled, looking at Jimin.
"None of those words about me are true, Jimin-ah. I'm worthless, noth-"
I was cut off my Taehyung's slightly louder voice.
"Yoongi. You're Not worthless, you hear me?! You're so much more than that. You're worth everything. Okay..?" His voice softened by the last word.

I looked at all of them, sighing.

Pretend.

I smiled a bit, looking at him and nodding. I hugged him and didn't let go. We took a few minutes before Jin and Namjoon left to cook dinner. Taehyung and I went to my room, talking about a game on mobile that was silly but fun.

The rest of the night was fine, we watched a movie and played around a bit before we all headed to bed.

"You gonna be okay? Need cuddles?" Taehyung was in my doorway, still concerned. I nodded then shook my head, laughing a bit.
"I'll be okay, Tae. I don't need cuddles, thank you though."
He nodded and closed my door, once I heard his room door shut, I immediately got up and turned my lamp on.

I took out one of my music composing notebooks and tore a page out, suprisingly it came out unripped.
I started to write word after word after word, tears spilling from my eyes. I was starting tk shake like crazy, I knew an anxiety attack was coming way but I didn't care. I looked around and grabbed a stuffed animal I had gotten from the group for my birthday. I hugged it tightly and put it against my pillow, leaving the note on my pillow. I got up, and as silently as possible made my way to the front door. I saw Namjoon laying his head on the counter in the kitchen, but he seemed asleep. I tip toed and put my shoes on, looking back at the house. I smiled to myself and sighed. Next thing I knew I was running as fast as my limbs could carry me.

I stood in from of the bridge railing, staring down as the deep, deep dark water. Small waves rushing against rocks, I looked around.

Nobody was in sight...I took a deep breath  looking back at the water. I put my hand on the rail, kicking my opposite knee on it aswell, I moved around until I got to sitting on the edge. I swung my legs, my breathing increasing rapidly as I kept thinking

I'm really about to succeed in suicide, alone.

A few minutes later, I got up, standing and slightly swaying on the rail. I was sobbing at this point...I was scared, I'll admit. But I was happy that I didnt have to go through so much pain anymore.

I was about to jump, or lean forward that is. I was taken out of my thoughts as I heard feet, and felt arms around me before being pulled. I slowly came back to my senses and looked around, seeing six terrified and upset faces. I gulped and got up, starting to run off but was held back by who had gotten me down, Namjoon.

"Yoongi, cut it out. Stop, please. We're here to help, stop running from it, stop running from us." I thrashed until I finally gave up, sinking to the ground. I looked up, fedling guilty for making everyone upset and worried again. I closed my eyes, my anxiety attack coming back. Namjoon rubbed my back and shhed me, trying to calm me down since he knew what was happening. Everyone else crowded me to try helping but it didn't seem to work, and soon enough I was met with once again pure blackness and sleep.

Word Count: 893

Sorry for not updating, been in a rough place.