second chances Of Blossom

Old Buddy

Taehyung

Sunday 27/04/25

FREEDOM.
Is the words that always pop in my head without a request for their presents and the term that I want to prevail in my life.
Most people think they're free, but they aren't. They're slaves to their jobs, to their suffocating families, to their misplaced priorities, drowning under the weight of what should be life. I see them. I've lived in them.
The pathetic thing is at one point I want to be just like them then things change and now I'm stuck in this blue-collar business shit. And I hated it!
Sitting in my office, looking down through my glass wall from twenty stories above wall street of lower Manhattan, the familiar ennui seems unwelcome into my consciousness. My mood is as flat and grey as the weather, I can't help but think about suicide.
Not my own.
I like life just enough to want to see it through. I don't precisely love my life and nor do I hate it.
I'm more focus on other people, and how they ultimately come to the decision to just end their own lives. For what? Freedom?
Do they ever regret it? In the moment after letting go and the second, before they make an impact, there has to be a little bit of remorse in brief free fall.
Do they look at the grout as it rushes toward them and thinks, 'Well, fuck. this was a bad idea.'
For some reason I think about death a lot after a phone call from my parents, don't get me wrong I love both of them but there's this distance between us and the easy conversation we used to have been lost on me. Nothing that comes to mind seems appropriate to them, I felt like they're hiding something from me.
I try to concentrate back on my next million dollars project but my mindset won't let me.
Why all of a sudden mum falling ills? And dad wants me to fly back ASAP. I let out a quick sigh as I press line one and its dial.
"Nayeon, I need to be back in Seoul tomorrow evening, arranges our company jet for me."I end the call.
I'm not in the mood to chatter with everyone else besides the business.
I tap on my iPad set on the corner of my desk, checking my today schedule as I open up the schedule sheets, my office phone rings.
"Good morning, Mr Kim," she says with the fake cheerful greeting tone as usual, which I find is annoying.
"Uh, there's a problem, sir." She sounds nervous.
"What's the problem?" I wait for her to speak but she's suddenly gone quiet at the end of the other line.
"You know I have got a meet in two minutes! So hurry up and tell me what's the problem is?" Completely quiet. "Should I call the HR departments and tell them to find me a new and better secretary?" She must have known who am I to this company, right? Why in the hell is she fucking taking her time to tell me what's the fucking problem is? Who even passed her to be my secretary?
"Umm. Sorry. Mr Kim, there's another call on the other lines for you. It's 8:30 appointment and about the arrangement for a company jet—"
"What about the jet?" I cut in.
"Sorry Sir, the company jet was booked out this earlier morning by your uncle. It won't return till late tomorrow night. But don't you worry, Sir. I've called up Korean airline and asked them for any flight route to Seoul that can bring you back to Seoul by tomorrow evening and lucky you, they do have one ticket left for first-class. The fly is at 11 am. Today, Sir. And they also recommended that you should be there two hours early to check-in before the departure time. That means you only have 30 minutes to close the deal with the 8:30 appointment."
"What! Now you told me this after you'd accepted the 8:30 appointment? Do you have any common knowledge in your head? You knew that I have got a flight to catch and you still accepted the 8:30? What are you even thinking?"
"Sorry Sir, I didn't think this through, but Sir. The 8:30 appointment is only a video call proposal meeting, they've been begging and nagging me the whole week to have a chance to speak to you and I'd already informed with you about this yesterday early evening and you'd agreed on it, Sir."
"Who are you working for? Me or 8:30? You can easily cancel the meeting and reschedule it!"
"Sorry Sir, I didn't think this through." Gosh, again with that same old excuses.
I look at the time and it ticks to 8:30.
"I'll deal with you later when I get back. And send the video call through my PC." I end the call.
I let out an exhausted sigh as I rub my face with my palms.
God, who the fuck hiring this girl? I need a new secretary. she needs to go.