2 Guys On a Boat

Screenplay by: Osmo Joe

EXT. - The Ocean - Day

There are two english men, Yusef and Declan rowing a boat in the middle of nowhere. Declan is a bit younger than Yusef. He looks fresh out of high school (or secondary school for the uptight assholes reading this) while Yusef is in his mid to late 20s. To them the sun is the brightest it has ever been and they are surrounded by nothing but water. They are tired and sweaty. As Declan keeps rowing the boat, Yusef stops rowing and says:

Yusef

Declan, it's no use. We're gonna die here.

This gets no response from Declan and he continues rowing. Yusef abruptly grabs Declan by the collar and looks him directly in the eyes.

Yusef

Declan. Declan! Look at me! This is it. This is the end. There's no fucking use in rowing!

He finally gets through to Declan. Declan throws his hands down and stops rowing. At the same time Yusef grabs a flask and holds it over his open mouth. Only two drops of wine hit his tongue.

Declan

You know Yusef. I never thought it would end like this. Everything I've experienced in life, everything I've ever wanted to experience it means nothing now.

There is a pause of silence as Yusef licks the top of his flask, scavenging for that last bit of flavor. Then he says:

Yusef

Who the fuck are you talking to? I know you're not talking to me about your bullshit. Do you think the fucking ocean cares about your unfulfilled hopes and dreams? It's boiling out here obviously the sun isn't crying for you.

Declan

Well you're a fucking dick. Is it wrong of me to be a little upset? Well I'm sorry Yusef but nihilism does not ease my emotions.

Yusef

Well I'm sorry Declan that I'm about to die and I don't want to go out listening to your whining.

Yusef

Can you let me die of dehydration in peace? Can you?

Declan is visibly angry while Yusef doesn't really look fazed. They have sort of a Rick and Morty dynamic. Declan being Morty and Yusef being Rick. There is another moment of silence because Declan is expecting an apology. After not getting it Declan starts rowing again. Yusef rolls his eyes because of this.

Yusef

Okay man stop rowing.

Declan ignores him.

Yusef

Stop fucking rowing man! I told you it's no use! You're just tiring yourself out! Who wants to die with sore arms?!

Declan

I am not fucking dying out here! This isn't it! I have more to do. This cannot be it.

Yusef

But it is-

Declan

No! I tried so hard. I tried so hard to live. To survive. And my whole life was leading up to me dying in a row boat with a drunken asshole! It doesn't make any sense!

Declan

I just-

Mid sentence Declan breaks out into tears and becomes hysterical.