Professor (Sigma x Reader) DISCONTINUED

Closer

(A/n) TBH I'm not sure if my titles even match the chapter but I don't like having the chapters being named after their part. It's boring. Anyway, some triggers for this chapter as it is mostly memories of your past and a phone call you hoped you wouldn't get.

Triggers include:

Past abuse/mention of rape, smoking/vaping, suicidal thoughts

A week had passed since that day. You and Professor de Kuiper - er - Siebren, had grown closer. He always made sure you were okay, "accidentally" forgetting to give you an assignment or two in that time. It helped take your stress away, and you sure as hell felt a lot better than before, but you knew it wasn't over. After all, your dad still lingered in your mind.

Your mind always went back to the first incident. You didn't know it was abuse at the time though. It wasn't until you entered middle school that you realized something was wrong. You thought everyone else was dragged around their house by their hair. You thought everyone had a paddle on the wall in case they were bad. You thought everyone had to throw away or burn every drawing they made and every coloring book they owned when they didn't get perfect scores on their school work. It was all you knew, dating as far back as kindergarten. At least that's what you remember.

"Are you certain? I can bring you back something."

Why was he so damn nice to you?

"No thanks professor. I know I don't eat a lot but if I force myself to, I'll get sick." You had to force a smile. "I'd rather focus on saving enough money for a dorm. Winter will be hectic otherwise."

Siebren sighed, slightly frustrated, but he understood. "Alright (y/n). Stay safe." He then headed out to the parking lot to drive off campus for lunch.

You headed for your car. You spent a lot of time there. It was very comforting in there, especially when you were at a low. Like right now. Sure, it felt good to get stuff off your chest about your dad, but you didn't get it all out. There was so much you still needed to tell him. God why did you want to tell your professor everything? Why couldn't you just talk to the damn counselor? It's not like Siebren was able to help you. He barely knew anything about the human mind!

You grabbed your vape from the center console, taking a puff and letting the smoke fill the air around you. You hated this habit of yours, but you couldn't help it. You didn't know how else to escape. Drugs were definitely a no. Alcohol...Well, that was for the very low times. The moments you wanted to forget the next day. Smoking was what you had found useful, but you went through cigarettes so quickly and they were getting more and more expensive. Vaping. That was your comfort now.

"God dammit..." You mumbled to yourself. "Why won't you just go away?"

More smoke filled the air, and your lungs. You wanted out of this all. You'd considered this multiple times before, but right now, it was so strong. Nicotine was killing you slowly but you wanted that death to come sooner. You wanted it now. You wanted the pain to go away. You wanted the world to disappear with your memories.

More smoke.

The tears came back. Not nearly as bad as last week, but by God's name they were bad. Your body began to shake. His voice appeared in your mind. The same words over and over again. I would never hurt you baby girl. You just have to listen and do what I say. If you don't, you'll wish you were dead. And you always listened to him. You God forsaken abusive father. The only male figure in your life from the moment your mother passed until..well...until you met Siebren. Your father made sure you never had or came into contact with a male teacher. He wanted no one else to top him. He only wanted you to know him and love, no, worship him. He'd do everything he could to make it happen.