The Elites

Daylight

"I don't wanna look at anything else now
That I saw you
I don't wanna think of anything else now
That I thought of you"

"Daylight" – Taylor Swift

I need to ask Hope something I've been avoiding asking her. I need the truth if I'm going to figure this out. "Was Eleanor really having sex with our English teacher?" I ask, wondering if Hope will get annoyed at me for even thinking this.

"No, she just told Ashton and Courtney she was" Hope answers, dismissing the idea. I don't know why Eleanor would want people to believe that, but I think she would have told Hope if she was hooking up with Mr. Brown. I mean, would she? Eleanor seemed like a private person, but her and Hope were sisters and best friends.

"Are you sure?" I ask, what would Eleanor gain from that? Courtney might be impressed, but Ashton doesn't seem like the type of person who would be. I think Ashton would judge Eleanor for that.

"I know my sister better than your aunt, okay? Eleanor wasn't hooking up with our teacher" Hope snaps at me. "And mom wonders why I said Melissa can't have Eleanor's diary. All your aunt does is poke into our lives and try to tear my family apart. She should never have investigated me! She just wasted time." I'm not going to start an argument over Melissa, I don't see the point. Hope doesn't like the fact Melissa has to investigate Eleanor's life and I can't change that.

I agree that Hope should never have been a suspect, but Melissa is doing what Susan and Andrew want, so Hope should blame her parents for thinking she's capable of murder.

"Giving Melissa Eleanor's diary could help find out who kidnapped you, Hope! I know you want to do right by Eleanor but she's dead! She's not coming back, no matter what you do" I snap, sick of Hope always hating on Melissa. All Melissa is doing is her job, Hope needs to accept that.

"No one is reading it, including me" Hope snaps, she has it. She must have taken it as soon as she got home from the hospital, what is in Eleanor's diary that is she so bad she doesn't want anyone to see it? Does Hope have secrets, too? "It's fucked up you think I don't have to be loyal to her anymore because she's dead. Do you even care about your parents anymore, or are they dead to you too?"

Before I can stop myself, I raise my hand. I stop, realizing what I was about to do. I didn't know I could hit someone, I almost hit someone who was held hostage and abused! 

"Get away from me" Hope says to me, fear in her eyes. Have I triggered something? Does she know where she is? She steps backwards, creating more distance between us.

"I'm sorry, I would never hit you" I say, wishing I knew what to do. How can I fix this? What am I meant to do? What am I meant to say?

"I know, I just need a minute" Hope replies, sounding calmer than before. She runs her fingers through her hair and goes and sits down on my bed. "It's not your fault."

I go and sit down next to her. "I promise I'll never hurt you." Our fight doesn't seem to matter to either one of us anymore.

"I know the diary could help but I'm doing what I think is right, just like you are" Hope replies, we must agree to disagree. She's right, all we can do is what we think is right. Hope thinks I'm wrong, and I think she's wrong, but who really knows? We've never been in this situation before.

"That's all we can do" I reply, but I know that Melissa needs the diary, we need to do whatever we can to keep Hope safe. I don't want Hope or her family to end up like Eleanor. "What happened while you were kidnapped?"

Hope looks away from me and focuses on my pictures. I feel a pang in my chest when I glance at a photo of me when I'm a toddler with my parents, I miss them so much. I don't know how I'll live the rest of my life without seeing my parents, I used to think the loneliness might kill me, it still might.