Westwood School

Beg for it

Magnolia:

"I'ma make you beg, I'ma make you beg for it."

The music started playing and we started our rehearsed dance. Of the three of us, Ivy was a trained dancer, and India and I were far from it, so the dance was not extremely hard. I could m

"Pulled up looking picture perfect, baby. High price, but I'm worth it, baby," I mouthed, while feeling my inner diva.

"Can't play with ya, I've been busy workin', baby. Gettin' faded in a European swervin' ay," India continued with a wink

"Look, describe Iggy, groundbreaking what the word is. Hit the stage, yeah, shake it like I'm nervous," Ivy mouthed, and the three of us turned around and shook our asses as the "yeah, shake it like I'm nervous" part.

I have no idea why, but this sound gave me an insane amount of confidence. I mean, sining always does, but I wasn't actually singing, I was lip syncing. We were singing about how good we looked, how wealthy we were, and that boys should work for us, not the other way around. And, that was not only a good message to myself but also to Rowen. And every boy ever also! Like, I am done simpering for boys. Though, to be fair, I never really did in the first place, now I just know better.

We continued to sing the lyrics, and I made eye contact with rowen. He was watching my every move, and he wasn't dancing like the rest of the crowd. He had a beer bottle in his hand. If I could describe his face- it would be the face of a puppy when you're tangling a treat right in front of it.

"I know you like the way I turn it on

I'm out here with my friends"

The three of us mouthed the words and danced semi proactively, but these lines reminded me, it was just all fun and games. That is... until tomorrow when I leave.

"I'ma make you beg, I'ma make you beg for it

If you don't do this right, you're going home alone"

Yeah uh, there's no option in this I'm still pissed. Rowen is not coming home with me tonight under any circumstances.

"I guess you'll have to beg

I'ma make you beg, I'ma make you beg for it"

We continued with the words, and every damn one was amazing.

"P-p-pussy power, pay me by the hour"

I loved this line on so many levels. Also- once again, sex work is real work lets decriminalize and destigmatize that shit.

"If I peek and you lucky, baby, there's money hours

All yellow gold on me, like I'm Trinidad, James

Sittin' drop top wonderin' where the ceiling's at"

India sang those lines, not giving a damn that she was this insanely wealthy. At my old school, I was one of the wealthiest people there, and people gave me so much shit about it. It was almost as if I had personally wronged their family at age eight because my parents struck gold (metaphorically). I had very little money when I was a baby, we shared our house with other people to afford it. Now- the time have changed to say the least.

"Iggy Iggy Iggy, can't you see?

That everybody wanna put their hands on me

See I be on this money why your man on me?

And I need another hand with all these bandz on me"

I sang these words, confidence blooming out of me. Ya hear that rowen? Everyone wants their hands on this. So better make a decision or else I'd just go to the next in line.

Ok that was low key bullshit but still.

We kept dancing, and I felt so damn good. I left like I had everything left to live and nothing to lose. I didn't think about what I had to do the next day- just that I was dancing with my friends at a party on halloween.

Suddenly, the part of the song that I wasn't sure if I wanted to direct at Rowen or Gemma more started up.

"Get up out my face like who' you think you are

Talking all this trash like blah-de-blah-de-blah

Get up out my face like who'd you think you are

Make me wanna laugh it like hi-di-hi-di-ha"

I would be lying if I said I didn't give multiple pointed looks at both of them, and throw in a couple sarcastic eye rolls. I mean... fuck em.

"Oh boy, I'm like a drug

If you want my love better smoke it up"

The ending of the song was arriving, and I slowed down the dance as the song slowed down. I loved to watch the innocent Ivy dance seductively while watching the look on Caspian's dance. I'm honestly surprised he didn't have to run because he was so overwhelmed with.... Feelings.

"Make you beg for it, I'ma make you beg for it," we chanted together.

"You can look, boy, but don't you touch

If you want my love make me give a fuck."

That was the line. That was it. The line that made me feel, ya know? I mean- Rowen had been leaving flowers and all that shit. But I wasn't gonna forgive and forget that easy. I cannot be bought over.

"Make you beg for it, I'ma make you beg for it"

The three of us cheered together happily, and pranced off the stage, not before I slipped a look in Rowen's direction. His gaze was burning into me.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and left the party. I called an Uber and went all the way back to the dorms, without talking to a soul. I was leaving at 5:00 AM, I needed a few hours of sleep before I left. 

Hiiiiii whats up? hows Quarantine going? is it over for y'all? its not for me at all... sadly but also low key not in the mood to see anyone from my school so eh. Question- is it weird to hang out one on one with your ex? 

anyway! comment! vote! whatever! I'm totally surprised we got to 10K without me having another update but I'm glad we did!

I love y'all!