To This Day

Conversations

Meredith

I knew from the time I was a child that it isn't blood that makes families; it's love. Loving one another, that's what made two people family, not last names or genetics.

Some of the people I loved most in the world were no more similar to me biologically than a stranger. But yet, somehow, they were always more reliable and loving than my biological family.

So, when Addie and I began discussing another baby, I didn't really care who's baby it was; if she wanted to carry, or even if she wanted to do reciprocal IVF, I didn't care. Hell, if she decided we should adopt this time around, I'd agree. Because it didn't matter to me who the baby was made up of, as long as it was loved.

After Addie and I had discussed which option we preferred to have another baby, we'd both seriously began looking at possible sperm donors and different fertility clinics.

I was going to carry, because it's what she wanted; I promised her a baby several years prior, and just like Rumplestiltskin, she was now collecting.

Of course, I didn't mind; I was excited to be giving her a baby to love, just like she'd given me Riley an Sutton.

Finding a sperm donor had proven to be more of a challenge than either of us had expected.

For hours upon hours, we studied different candidates, going through all the hospital's fertility clinic's potential options before deciding to go to a private fertility clinic, where there were more options.

Our goal was to find someone that matched Addison's physical traits before we even looked at personal traits. This meant strawberry blonde, red, auburn or orange hair (though it got to the point where we decided we'd settle for blonde like the girls), and blue eyes. For height, we'd just settled on average, nobody overly tall or overly short.

Of course, if the baby came out looking nothing like either of us, we wouldn't care.

All of these specifications of course meant that our options were significantly limited compared to if we weren't trying to match Addie's appearance.

"Every single time I think I've got one, I read to the bottom and see that he's got a history of lactose intolerance or something" Addie mumbles, glasses perched on the tip of her nose as she flips through yet another file from the pile on the coffee table in front of us.

"None of these guys seem right" I sigh, tossing yet another one in the 'nope' pile. "The ones that look like you all have some kind of catch, and the ones that act like you don't look similar whatsoever" it was a total catch-22 situation, and I was growing more and more irritated.

"Maybe we should try other clinics" Addie suggests, leaning back in defeat "this is the third lot of files we've gotten from this one, and they're all duds" I didn't think it was the clinics fault, I knew we were being too picky, but I also knew that Addison was just trying to keep me in good spirits.

I was ready to throw in the towel if we couldn't find one soon; I was at the point where I'd looked at so many different files, I was starting to think that none would ever be 'right'.

"Maybe" I sigh, reaching out an arm to pull her closer to my side. She reacts with a smile, before contorting her body to fit perfectly with mine, her head on my shoulder and her legs intertwined with mine. "I'd be okay with if it was just us and the girls, though. If we can't find a donor" I tack on, because while I did want a baby, I didn't want to settle for some half-ass sperm.

"I don't know how Arizona and Amelia did this" I mumble, remembering when their youngest daughter Ainsley was born two years ago. Arizona had carried Amelia's embryo, and they'd used a sperm donor to do so.