To This Day

Caving in

Meredith

A little less than a month later, after all my bloodwork and labs had come back positive, I was booked for my first ultrasound. It all seemed to be happening so quickly, one day I wasn't pregnant, the next I was, and now I'd get to see my baby.

We'd all get to see our baby. It seemed so crazy that the four of us had decided to go through with all of this all over again. For the second time, I was going to be the Mother of Derek and Mark's kid.

Of course, I'd asked Arizona to do mg ultrasound. I trusted her, she and Amelia were sisters to Addie and I. Averie and Sutton were best friends, considering how close in age they were, which meant we saw a lot of them, and it was the best. Even Riley loved playing with the babies when Averie was visiting; it was the sweetest thing I'd ever seen.

"Alright, get comfy. This part sucks" Arizona informs me, as I sit with my feet in the stirrups in an exam room, wearing nothing but a thin hospital gown. I was exposed, and frankly sort of chilly, but still excited. Everyone had gathered around me, as if this were a congregation of sorts, as I shivered slightly again underneath the paper-thin gown, more from nerves than from the cold.

"It's not that bad" Addie reassured me with a smile, holding my hand encouragingly. They were talking about the internal ultrasound, which meant a wand going up my vagina to poke around for the baby.

Well, maybe not 'poke' around exactly. But that's what it felt like. I made a mental note to get used to being poked and prodded, because from what I knew, I'd be my baby's personal pin cushion soon enough.

"When you see your baby it'll be worth it" Arizona promises, putting on some gloves and picking up the wand. Mark and Derek stood at my left shoulder, perfectly hiding my vagina from their line of sight.

For a second, I was worried; I began to panic because my brain conjured up a worst-case scenario. What if the baby wasn't viable? What if something was wrong? What if it had two heads? Or a tail? What if I did something wrong and now the baby is hurt?

Of course, the second the wand was inside, I wasn't worried about how uncomfortable it was; I was worried about the baby. Until she found something, I was holding my breath, unable to let myself breathe until I knew everything was okay.

She was quiet for a moment, as the five of us studied the sonogram screen, my heart was practically in my throat as my eyes desperately searched for my baby. It was hard to find the fetus when it was so small, and I wasn't as skilled as Arizona and Addie were in reading ultrasounds, so it took me a moment to look.

But before I could see anything (anyone?), Addie let out a startled noise and pointed at the screen with two wide-eyes. And then, Arizona gasped, and I nearly had a heart attack.

Was something wrong? Did something seem odd with the baby? Was there even a baby to begin with? This whole thing could've just been a mix up.

As I panicked, Mark and Derek began to panic too, which of course was anything but helpful.

I looked back and forth between the two of them, and then at Derek and Mark, before looking back at the ultrasound screen, where Arizona had found what she'd been looking for, plus one.

"There's two babies"

Arizona was absolutely ecstatic, and as the four of us looked at her with wide eyes, she had nothing but a smile. She pointed to the screen, outlining two little blobs with the tip of her gloved finger.