Impenetrable Heart | The Oneshot Collection

Better Pt. 2

     A/N- Welcome back to part two! So, again, before we start MAJOR TW! This chapter again deals with su*c*dal thoughts and ideation. If you are sensitive to this, please do not read! Take care of yourself, that is far more important <3 Much love as always, and let's get into it!

     ...

     Unsurprisingly, John had hardly slept that night, kept awake by the constant churning of thoughts in his head, and the persistent sunlight illuminating the room around him. Even so, most of the time he spent lying in silence; pretending he hadn't been awake as Laf shuffled around for the better part of four hours. He sat up groggily, rubbing his eyes.

     "Up already?" Laf called from the kitchen. John sighed quietly.

     "Yeah."

     "Well, Herc brought in take-out if you are hungry," Laf said, setting down in the chair across from him. John frowned, glancing at the bag on the kitchen counter.

     "When?"

     "Oh, around a half-hour or so ago."

     John furrowed his brows, not remembering hearing when Herc came in. He decided to drop this notion, however, as a new thought rose to the surface.

     "So he... knows then?" He asked quietly, dreading the answer.

     "Well, yes," Laf said, frowning in thought. "He was there when you called, after all."

     John nodded silently, to which Laf added

     "John, you know Herc loves you-"

     "I know, it's just..." John trailed off with a heavy sigh. "Weird, I guess?"

     He and Herc had a much different relationship than that of Laf or Alex. While Laf and Alex were more hands-on and vocal in addressing the elephant in the room, Herc would be the one to get the cage ready and grab snacks for everyone in the process. They were alike in many ways as well, rambunctious in the right settings with a healthy disregard for the law- yet at the same time would stare at you blankly if anyone asked how you were.

     Consequently, neither of them quite enjoyed talking about feelings or heavy topics in general; and while Laf and Alex would try solving the issue at hand, Herc was great at distracting you from it and making sure all your basic needs were met in the process. Not to mention he was also a constant background player in general, driving people to and from places, picking up food, drinks or snacks, and overall keeping the peace. The glue of the friend group, as Alex once called it.

     Laf looked down, seemingly lost for a response- as he changed the subject.

    "Are you feeling any better?"

     John narrowed his eyes, staring despondently at his lap. Was he? He shrugged, shaking his head.

     "I don't know," he said. "Too early to say."

     ...

     The night had gone by slowly, Laf trying his best to stay quiet as John slept. There wasn't much to do besides sitting on his phone, glancing at his friend from time to time. He could tell John had been awake through most of it, constantly tossing and turning, throwing his blanket over his head to shield himself from the rising sun. Laf had tried shutting the blinds as tight as he could, but regardless the light slipped through, no matter how hard he'd try to stop it.

     And if he hadn't known any better, he'd say that was some sort of analogy.

     He looked at his friend sadly, who seemed in worse condition than when he had gone to bed. His eyelids hung heavy over darkened circles, any trace of happiness void from his face as he cast his eyes distractedly to the ground in front of him.