Why'd You Leave Me // Phan (sad)

4

~Dan's POV~
"Are you sure you don't want to come with?" I asked my boyfriend for the millionth time.

I was planning to go get food and Phil usually comes. But tonight he doesn't want to. "Yes Dan. Now please go." He said. "Okay... I'll be back soon." I said as I grabbed my wallet and phone as I left.

~Phil's POV~
I was trying to tell Dan I didn't want to go. I need time alone When he left I went straight to my room. I grabbed paper and a pen. I started to write letters everyone I love. Friends, family. Even Dan. You may be wondering what's going on. Well...

I can't deal with these haters. They are just to much for me now. They tell me to cut myself and I do. Tell me I'm worthless, because I am. Tell me to end my life, which I'm going to do...

I put my time into mostly Dan's letter. After writing it, I folded all my letters and took my laptop out.

I'm making a video for the fans. Just a one-take video. I was crying a little because this is very hard. After controlling my emotions for now, I click record.

"Um hello guys... This isn't one of my normal videos." I start. "I have been... A unhappy person. The only people who make me happy are Dan, you guys, friends, and my family. But I have haters who ruin my happiness." I closed my eyes for a seconds.

"They um... Told me to cut myself, that I'm worthless, and to kill myself. And... I did something after reading stuff like that a million times." I pull up my sleeve and showed my left arm. On that arm are scars. "I actually cut myself. I actually did before I met Dan a bit and still today. I also believe I'm worthless..." I look at my arm.

"Now to kill myself...That's all they want" I look up.

"So this video is just me saying goodbye..."

"I just want to thank you all for making my day over the years. The love and support, it means so much. Meeting you guys is amazing. I love you all so much. So so much." I was crying at the time. "I thought I was strong, but I guess I'm not. Everyone snaps at a point, right? I just guess tonight is my time."

"But... Thank you so much for watching. Keep on watching the videos over and over. Please stay strong after seeing this. But... I guess I'll see you guys again one day... I love you all" I stop recording and just posted it. I tweeted out the video and headed to the bathroom.

I was holding the letter I wrote for Dan and set it down. I searched through my items for two things. I found a bottle of pills and my razor.

I pull my sleeve up, looking at the scars. Some were new from last night when Dan was asleep. I counted each one and grabbed my razor. It was brand new. Very sharp and shiny. I put it against my skin and slid it across my wrist 5 times. It wasn't deep, but it bled and stings.

I watch the blood and then went to look at my comments on my video. Everyone was freaking out so bad. I frown and went on twitter to see a few YouTubers have mentioned me. One was Troye.

'It's been nice knowing you. I hope the place you are going will make you happier. We all love you.'

I smiled sadly and retweeted all the YouTubers and favorited them.

I looked at the time and notice that Dan should be back in 8 minutes. I grabbed the pills and put about a dozen in my hand. I swallowed them and drank water with it. I closed the bathroom door and sat on the floor.