My Story

_________'s Song

I can't talk about the past.

You wouldn't understand anyway, all of you clueless, stupid and distressing people running about, making assumptions, trying to help, overreacting, undereacting, giving me words that float over my head, words I don't hear.

Closure? There is no damned thing.

Help? Therapy? Doesn't work.

"I'll always be here for you"

"You can talk to me anytime"

Lies, all lies, and even so, no one knows what to say

I don't really know what to do. I want to give up already, just let my life go to shit and then die.

I want to not care anymore. I want to stop relying on people. 

The thing about people is that they always let you down.

Tears don't help, cutting doesn't help, wine, vodka and whiskey, all don't help.

I guess the only thing I can really do is try to get through it

Just deal with it, by myself.

I don't really know how I do it, how I keep getting up everyday, facing life

The sports, the grades, music, all distractions, time wasters, goals.

Day by day goes by, time that I've waited, torturous time I've beared through.

Waiting for what? Death, I hope, will come to me sooner rather than later.

It means nothing. It is nothing

The only way to deal with things is to not think about them at all until you've almost completely forgetten them. Except you forget the wrong things, you forget the good parts, you forget what it was like to be happy, and you start to only remember the bad parts, the fear, fights, anger, sadness. 

How do you remember how to live when you've forgotten?

It means nothing, it is nothing.

I'm just a rock in the current, letting the time flow past me while I stubbornly stay put, unwilling to move forward, only waiting for the current to stop flowing.

I guess you just have to detatch yourself from it

It means nothing, it is nothing.

"I never thought I'd die alone.

I laughed the loudest, who'd have known?

I traced the cord back to the wall,

No wonder it was never plugged in at all.

I took my time, I hurried up

The choice was mine, I didn't think enough.

I'm too depressed, to go on

You'll be sorry when I'm gone."